So, I have finalised and submitted my next essay two weeks before it’s actually due and now I’m on holiday prep!!

I can’t deny it….. I’m just a tad excited.
Italy, here I come.
10 days, 2 villas, Florence, San Gimignano, Monteriggioni, food, wine and a family wedding!!

Oh yeah, no husband and no kids!!

I am thinking about blogging as I go but it highly depends on internet services whilst I’m out there.
If nothing is posted for the next two weeks, look out for one big blog when I get home!!

When I do get home I have two movies with my boys to see.
August 25th sees the release of Logan Lucky with Adam Driver and American Made with Domhnall Gleeson.

Adam and Dom

Do not expect me to be doing anything other than spending the entire day in the cinema.

It is going to be a busy couple of months for Domhnall with not one but 4 film releases to look forward to.
American Made on August 25th
Mother on Sept 15th
Goodbye Christopher Robin on Sept 29th
and of course, Star Wars on Dec 15th

He then has Peter rabbit due in March next year, one film, A Futile and Stupid Gesture, in post production with no release date, Crash Pad with no release date and is currently filming Little Stranger.
He’s been a busy boy!


It’s the little things in life that make me the happiest!

My family will understand the heartache a few years ago when Haywards decided to stop making their plain pickled gherkins.
Tradition at Xmas was to stock up on them as they wouldn’t last long with family get togethers.

I seriously missed them.
Nothing else could compare.
Every jar I picked up would contain sodding DILL!! or spices.
Nope, nope and nope.

The closest I ever came to finding them again was small jars of itty bitty cocktail gherkins. Nice, but gone in one crunch.

I had almos given up hope.


This jar caught my eye when I was shopping in Aldi the other day.
I read the label closely and there was no sign of the dreaded Dill or spices.
I took a chance and bought it.


They are lovely.
I have my big beautiful Gherkins back and the best thing about them?

They are only 125 calories for the ENTIRE jar!!
So I can munch on them quite happily on my diet.


I’m going to get a bit deep with this blog.

As I hurtle towards 50 years on this planet…. yep! It’s only 2 years and 3 months away, I have reached my mid-life crisis.

Now before anyone takes anything I say the wrong way, I want to make it perfectly clear that I have NO REGRETS about the path I chose. That’s not to say I don’t have any regrets at all.

I have a loving husband and three beautifully frustrating kids, none of which I could live without.


Over the last year I’ve had a bit of an epiphany. My eyes have been well and truly opened and I have wondered at times, what my life would look like now if I had been brave enough to do some of the things I crave to do now but can’t. My time has passed.

As parents, my parents had it easy!!
Yes, they worked bloody hard to get what they have.
What I mean is, that me and my brother were textbook kids.
We argued, a lot!
We rough-housed.
We went out with our friends.
We both did OK at school.
My parents never really had much, out of the ordinary, to worry about.
We both eventually married and left the family nest.

We both grew up during the 80′ and 90’s and one of the biggest issues of the time was AIDS.
We grew up with adverts like this….

If anything was going to stop up from being adventurous, it was advertising designed to scare us out of being adventurous like this. The AIDS campaigns at the time were designed to shock, and they worked.

My brother was a little more adventurous with relationships than me but his first marriage didn’t last. He has since settled down and has found the perfect lady to keep him under control and I can’t wait to see him tie the knot with her in three weeks in Italy!

I, however, was a totally different story.
I was always very quiet. I kept myself to myself. I had my friends at school but I would lock myself away in my bedroom with my music and my TV (all three channels) and my movies.
At one point my Father was actually thinking I might be gay!
I really don’t know what he would have done if I’d said I was. He’s very old school. Quite frankly he’s homophobic. In his eyes, every male actor or dancer is ‘gay’ and I shot him down about his attitude at every opportunity.
I ended up doing ‘what was expected of me’. I found a husband, I settled down and I had three kids.

This was over 30 years ago and I have to ask myself, if I’d had access to all the social media I have access to now, with all the information available, would I have experimented more with my own sexuality? Would I have been a little more adventurous or rebelious?

The answer is quite simply, Yes!! I think I would.

The last year has seen some changes in me and my attitudes to things.
As much as my eldest daughter frustrates the hell out of me, I am totally jealous of her for being as adventurous as she is. She doesn’t give a stuff what people think and lives life from day to day experiencing what she can along the way.

My other two kids are following their own paths and have yet to decide where they want to go and how they want to live but I will support them with whatever they choose.

All three of my kids live life with their hearts on their sleeves. They couldn’t give a stuff whether their friends are straight, gay, bi, trans, Christian, Muslim, black or white…..or whatever!! Everyone is ‘normal’ in their eyes, regardless, and that is how it should be.
I’m so proud of them.

I have spent the last year in total mid-life crisis mode.
I now have tattoos, I have piercings I never thought I would get, I’ve started losing weight and I find myself wondering where I would be if I’d had the guts to do it all when I was a teenager.
My parents are horrified.

My husband was my first and only relationship and I really love him but I was well into my 20’s when I met him.
Do I regret not being more adventurous as a teenager?
DAMN RIGHT I DO! and there is my only regret. I have begun to feel like I wasted my teens.

So I think that the last year has seen me living my life vicariously through my daughters and through people I have come to know and love through social media.
My interest in all things LGBTQ have been truly enlightening and are what have made me question myself the most over the last year.

If I had a reset button on my life, would I push it?
I honestly can’t answer that one.


OK, you have no idea how happy this news makes me.
There’s a buzz on Tumblr tonight.
I can’t find any hard confirmation though.

It looks like one of my favourite characters from the 2012 ‘Dredd’ movie has finally, officially, been given a name in the comics.

In the movie, he was played my Domhnall Gleeson and was only ever know as ‘Clan Techie’
Poor Techie had his eyes replaced by bionic ones after Ma-Ma tortured him by gouging his original eyeballs out with her thumbs. Lovely.


He proved to be a popular character.
I won’t go into details about how he has become extremely popular in Kylux fandom.
Needless to say, Kylux fans are very happy with the choice of name.

It is an amalgamation of two much loved characters played by Domhnall.
Bill Weasley from the Harry Potter movies and General Hux from the Star Wars movies.


Clan Techie is now officially named ‘Bill Huxley’!!

Love it!!!


So that’s it.
Presentation is done.
I have to say that I don’t think we did too bad in the grand scheme of things.
I nearly lost it with one of my team who apologised for not turning up for a rehearsal on Saturday evening. I looked at him incredulously and said, ‘it wasn’t your only opportunity. It wasn’t just Saturday was it?’ Then I bit my tongue and said, ‘you know what, I’m not even going to go there’ and I walked away.
Thankfully, the actual presentation ran smoothly.

Now we just have a painful wait until we get results.
15 working days which means I won find out until after I get back from Italy.

So, what next?
I have to finish my next essay two weeks early so that I can submit it before I go to Italy!
It never ends.
But at least now, I’m back on my own terms. If I don’t get something done it’s my own fault.

Right, time to chill. Do a little exercise. Drink a little wine.
Tomorrow is placement day. This one is in Bedford and just around the corner so I won’t have to leave until 9am. It’s the same place I was at last week and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Bliss.

Then it’s three days of some normality.
Bills to pay on payday, gardening, housework, Italy preparation, a little more essay writing and work on Saturday.


It’s been a bit of a meh! day today.

I’m feeling old.
I’m feeling bloated.
I’m feeling as rough as most women once a month.
I just wanted to eat and drink all day…. which I did!!
And I’m fretting about this bloody presentation I have to do tomorrow.

I’ve been working my way through a few bottles of Corona and Bud.
I had home made spaghetti bolognese for lunch and I’ve just polished off a cheese and bacon toastie for tea.
I don’t say this very often but I seriously need some chocolate!!

Not surprising that I still feel bloated!

Anyway, to try and cheer myself up a little, I started watching Girls again, from the beginning.

Yeah yeah. I know Adam is shirtless in both these clips. So sue me!!
I told you I needed cheering up.

I also spent some time Youtubing the events of the San Diego Comic Con this weekend and then I continued my discovery of my new favourite couple.

Tom and Lance!
Tom and Lance 1

Although someone really needs to explain to me how this guy…..

Tom and Lance 2

Is 43 and 20 years older than this guy!!!

Tom and Lance 3

Seriously. 43!!
I’m 47 and feel so old.
Tom I am so jealous. Lance is a hottie!!

I guess you’re as young as you feel and Lance feels a 23 year old on a daily basis!
Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Tom and Lance 4

Anyway, Tom’s Youtube channel has lots of Tom and Lance vlogs, including their wedding. They are an exceptionally cute couple. Check them out.

Right, enough time to do a little more Youtubing before bed.
I have to be up at the crack of dawn to get to Uni early.
I’m hoping to get a run through done with the rest of the group and as one of them hasn’t turned up to a single read through I’m not holding out much hope that tomorrow will go very well.
If he doesn’t show up early enough, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my mouth shut when I see him.

Watch this space.


I can honestly say that we had a lovely day today.

Why is that such an odd statement?
We spent the day in Bedford!!

The shopping in Bedford is still shit to be honest BUT with the arrival of a new entertainment complex in town, the possibility of actually having a lovely day has dramatically improved.

When we go out for the day to Milton Keynes or Northampton or St. Neots, we quite often see one or two movies and choose one of the multitude of restaurants attached to them to go and have some dinner.

Bedford has always been a little bland in the restaurant department.
Curry, Chinese or steakhouse were your options.
The new complex has brought us a whole host of new restuarants including a Wagamama’s which is one of our favourites when we are out and about.

So today we decided to try out the brand new Wagamama’s that officially opened on Thursday.

We parked in the multi-storey across the road from the complex and walked over the road to the restaurant. It was fairly empty when we arrived but absolutely buzzing when we left. The food was lush and the service was excellent. We’ll definately be going back.

After lunch, we decided to walk down the embankment where we stopped for a drink at the Embankment Hotel and sat outside enjoying the weather. Murron and her friend Leigh stopped by and added to our bill!!

After that we continued down the embankment and ended up at Cineworld to see Dunkirk which is absolutely amazing!! Brilliant film.

Then we wandered back up the embankment to get the car and headed home.
It was a lovely, leisurly day.

We are happy now knowing that we can get a lift or a taxi to the cinema, walk along the embankment for dinner and then back for another film if we fancy before getting a lift or a taxi home.

Our only concern now is the survival of the Cineworld complex.
It looks like the new Vue only has 3 or 4 screens. Hopefully it won’t impact on Cineworld’s profits and they’ll continue with their refurbishment plans.
As Cineworld card holders, if we lose Cineworld, we’re going to be a bit pissed off!!

Anyway, time for bed. I actually have work tomorrow!!