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Mum of three.
X graphic designer turned mum. When the need to go back out to work arrived, I became a Clinical Support Worker completely by accident. I was a support worker for 9 years and was actually awarded Clinical Support Worker of the Year 2011 at my trust.
I have just completed a 2 year University course as a Trainee Nursing Associate and now I am one of the countries first registered Nurse Associates. I am also a Paediatric based Nurse Associate which makes me quite rare. I have been married for 25 years.


OK, so I’m almost 13 weeks into my new job and things are going well.
I have a good understanding of what the Eating Disorder Team does and my own team is just about complete and beginning to formulate how our supporting the ED team will look. We’ve even made a start with a few clients already. It’s all so new that things keep changing and ideas keep flying around, but it’s getting there.

I was on annual leave 2 weeks ago, I had a week at work last week and now I have another week of annual leave!!
I really should have planned that one better!

Anyway, it’s given me time to think about how things are going, and for the most part, I’m really happy. I’m more relaxed, less stressed, more laid back……. but….. I’m still feeling like a bit of a fraud!!
It’s silly really. I’ve been qualified now for 3 years and I’m bringing plenty of experience from my 14 years on a ward but I’m now being asked to ‘specialise’ and this is where I am losing a bit of confidence in myself.
I’m working with amazing people who are very experienced and I am very much still learning, so when I talk to clients and their carers, I’m always second guessing myself and wondering if I’m telling them the right thing and asking myself if it’s my place to be saying this. It still doesn’t feel natural.
Give me an adenotonsillectomy or a fractured limb and I’ll talk with confidence until the cows come home.
ED’s are a whole new ball game but I suppose this feeling will go with time, I just need to be patient.

So what have I done with my time off?
Not a lot really.
Got my nails and hair done.
Did some cleaning.
Got on top of the ironing.
Went to the Cinema to see ‘Uncharted’ (meh!)
Had dinner at the pub.
Sat on my behind and binged some TV.
Was thinking about tidying the garden but the last few weeks have been WAY too cold and wet.
This next week doesn’t look to be getting any better.

Anyway, it’s the hubster’s birthday this week so I see a day out at the cinema and meal on the cards.

My youngest, Dharma, passed her driving test on thursday. I now cannot keep her in. There has been no stopping her and I think her confidence is going to go from strength to strength. The only downside is that she needs to look at working a bit more to cover the running cost of the car!! I certainly can’t afford to run two cars.

The only other thing I have planned this week is a trip up to Huddersfield with Marjorie who is seriousy looking at doing a Masters degree in Media Studies. She wants to check out the Uni and it’s facilities. It will give us a chance to have a good chat on the way there too.

Right, time to crack open a bottle of wine and start the new season of Outlander!!


I had a Facebook memory popup today that actually really disappointed me.

It was titled ‘ONE TO WATCH’ and I wrote it 5 years ago.
It was about Sergei Polunin, the bad boy of ballet.
I wrote it after seeing this dance video he did to Hozier’s, ‘Take Me to Church’.

I should have seen the warning signs when he got this tattoo across his chest. Not exactly subtle!

He apparantly got the tattoo shortly after his birthday. This was usually an occasion when he would receive a lot of messages from his fans on social media and he wanted to send love back in a meaningful way.
Polunin has adored Putin since childhood and considered him a powerful hero. He stated “I thought I could combine love with this man to say that we must all love. And I wrote: All the best wishes you send me for the day I will send to Putin because I see light when I look at him“.
Unsurprsingly, the news sparked a strong reaction from fans. “The answer was: Bloody hell! We will kill you. He’s a dictator. And Polunin said “God, it turned out exactly how I wanted it to be“.


After the events of the last week, the fact that Polunin was born in Kherson in Southern Ukraine makes him all the more sickening to me.

When he got the tattoo, the Ukranian Government ostracized him and told him he couldn’t return and put him on a list of terrorists and war criminals.

Putin wasn’t the only offensive tattoo he had. He also has swastika-like symbols on his stomach and, on his face, a bird flying towards his left eye.
He has stated that “soon, they will be no more. “I’m removing all my tattoos. I’m sort of clearing face, purifying the tattoos, a bit. To me now, they are childish. I’ve passed the time of having tattoos.”

I get that Polunin had a tough upbringing and he was extremey rebellious as he entered his twenties, and I get that a lot of his rebelliousness and attitude were drug fuelled, but personally, I think this turnaround is too little, too late and the damage to his reputation and career are permanent, I also don’t see any hint of remorse or apology in his comments.

When I wrote that post 5 years ago I thought he would be the next Baryshnikov, but I feel even suggesting this is an insult to Baryshnikov.


Well it’s February 5th already and I’ve only posted twice so far this year.
I haven’t really been in the mood for blogging but that’s not because anything is wrong in particular, just the usual hassles of life that I will go into in more detail later.

So! how has life been so far this year?

Not too bad really.
The new job is going really well and I am settling into a routine. My new team is taking shape and beginning to look at our actual role within the rest of the service. It won’t be long now before 9-5 will be a thing of the past and we will be doing our anticipated shifts over 7 days to make sure there is support for the clients that need it.

I now have a sparkly new PC!!
The old one was exactly that… too old to continue updating and using old packages on.
I even had to update my version of Corel Draw because the copy I had was so old it wouldn’t run on the up to date Microsoft system.
I was getting the blue screen of death every 5 minutes and it was driving me nuts!!

The diet has successfully started!!
After several false starts, the diet is now under way and is going pretty well.
I am currently 4.5kg down and I am beginning the feel the benefits. Only 36.5kg left go…urgh!!
The only way I have ever succeeded in losing weight in the past is by healthier eating, calorie counting and more exercise. However, I am currently unable to do the amount of exercise I used to do because of my knee issues, so I am being very careful about what I eat and drink.
I have cut out unhealthy snacks completely. I have seriously cut down on my alcohol intake and I am using Fitbit to help me keep track of my calories which I am limiting to make sure I am in a slight deficit each day.
I still do some exercise though as I get on an exercise bike each evening and do around 8 – 10 km. Just enough to get my heart pumping for a while and hopefully strengthen up the muscles around my knee. I’ll do this for a few months and then hopefully up the exercise a little bit more.
I am finding that planning my food for each day is a huge help because I am not just grabbing things when I am tired and hungry and I think I am now at a point where it is working nicely.
I have a planned breakfast, lunch and dinner. It leaves me with the ability to have a couple of small snacks throughout the day if I want them and I am slowly and steadily losing weight.
My aim for this year will be to get back to where I was for my brothers wedding in 2017 and get all of my lovely tops out of cupboard to wear again!!
I then need to keep it going for a little bit longer to aim for my daughter’s wedding which she is hoping to have next year if finances allow.

The house remains COVID free!!
We’ve been really lucky. Not that the winter cold hasn’t attacked us. Marjorie and Dharma have both been suffering with a bit of a cold this last week but they remain COVID negative, so all is good.

There have been few ups and down over the last few weeks.
Sadly , I attended the funeral of a friend we lost just before Xmas.
He was a friend of my daughter Murron and I would regularly see him on some of our nights out together.
I will always remember him staying in the garage one evening, when the garage was used as a den by Murron.
By the time we all got up the next day he’d tidied the garage up! He was rewarded with bacon sandwich.
I will always remember him as happy, cheeky and mischeivious and nights out on the town will never be quite the same.

RIP Mathew Flemons

To lighten things back up again, I was invited to my friends, daughter’s hen do a few weeks ago.
We started the day at Ballie Ballerson in shoreditch, with bottomless prosecco cocktails and pizza for 2 hours and several dips into the adult sized ball pits!!
It was incredible fun and I hope to go back there later in the year for either Marjorie’s birthday or Murron’s hen do….. maybe even both!!
It’s another reason to get a bit fitter in myself as I couldn’t fully enjoy the ball pits. If I had fallen over, they would have needed a crane to get me out!!

We chilled for a while at Box Park before heading over to Bar Elba in Waterloo.
This is an amazing rooftop bar with fantastic views of London and we had a private party pod for a few hours where we again had more food and drink.

The only downside to this bar is that it is situated at the top of what felt like 20 flights of stairs!!
Obviously a bar for the young and fit. I made it though, but I nearly died trying!!

Anyway, that’s all the major stuff so far.
I could go on about the situation with Ian medically but that is a whole blog on it’s own and I’m really not in the mood to discuss that one today. I’m just getting more and more angry with the whole situation.
So, I’m going to get a bit of housework done before my friend Mick comes over to catch up on The Book of Boba fett and the new series of Resident Alien.



The day I pick to start my diet for the new year I receive a gift of candy!!
Oh well, looks like that will have to wait until Monday.

Anyway, I received this little gift box of American candy as a thank you.

It was a £5 Mystery Box from Cloud City Candy and it was filled with a lovely little selection of things that I’ve always wanted to try.
Not that I had much of a chance as the Airheads, Nerds and Tootsie Rolls have all been nabbed by the rest of the family!!
I managed to save the Hershey’s chocolate, which I already know I like, but most importantly, I saved the Baby Ruth bar. I have ALWAYS wanted to try one of these and I think it will go down nicely with my coffee in the morning.

I have to say, if you are looking for an unusual gift, for whatever reason, this would be perfect.
If you head on over to and the check out their Cloud City Candy page, you will find all of these and much more. They have variously priced mystery boxes and they sell all the candy individually too. They have just started and are hoping to expand the range, so keep checking back to see what’s new.
Oh, and spread the word!!

Now, I’m going to hide my Baby Ruth before it gets nabbed!

(P.S. The Baby Ruth bar was lovely and did indeed go well with my coffee this morning!)


First of all, happy new year to all.
I genuinely hope that the next year brings you everything you had hoped for.
I think we all need a break from the shit the last few years has dealt us.

Anyway, I’m going to start my new year with an apology.
An apology for being quite quiet for the last few weeks of the year.
No real excuse except to say that I’ve had a lot on my plate getting into a new job in the last 3 weeks and my PC has decided to play silly buggers on me.

I have just completed my 3rd week in my new job and I am still getting used to the total change in pace and way of working.
So far, it’s been a good move.
My knee is not giving me as much of an issue as it has been and I am generally more relaxed.
There’s a lot more opportunity to work from home and the team I am working with have all been supportive and welcoming.
It’s been a little strange starting just before Xmas with all the breaks and people on annual leave which was unheard of in my last job. I go back to work after the new year break on Tuesday, when I expect things will take a little turn as the service returns to normality. I should start to get a feel for what my role will actually look like although I don’t think I will be doing my actual job much before Easter!
For now, I am getting to know the service I have become part of. Meeting potential future clients and getting to know my team.

My PC has sort of died on me in the last couple of months.
I have been getting the blue screen of death more and more often and after the Hubster took a look at it just before Xmas we discovered that the system can’t handle all the new Microsoft updates and won’t be able to run Windows 11! It also meant that the current copy of Corel Draw, a design package that I use, won’t run any more.
So! Decision was made to purchase a new, updated copy of Corel Draw and a new PC.
The PC Arrived on Xmas Eve and we set it aside to deal with after Xmas.
When we went to put it all together after Xmas we discovered that they hadn’t loaded the Windows 11 operating system!!
Bit annoying considering Ian had specifically asked them if it came with the operating system before we purchased.
Anyway, after querying this, they are sending out the operating system for Ian to install but because of the odd bank holidays this year, it still hasn’t turned up!! So I’ve resorted to plugging the old PC back in and putting up with the odd crash until the new PC is up and running.

We had a lovely Xmas this year.
We stayed home and we celebrated our first Xmas with our first official grandchild, accompanied by their 2 brothers and their Dad.
Jordan has made a good addition to the family and has completely turned Murron’s life around.
She has turned out to be an incredible Mum and has taken on the responsibility of Mum to Jordan’s 2 little boys like a duck to water.

We were lucky enough to avoid Covid but it didn’t miss the family completely!
My Brother tested positive on Christmas Eve, which meant that Mum and Dad’s plans were turned on their head.
Thankfully Mum had prepared for any eventuality and after coming to see us for a few hours on Xmas morning, she then spent the rest of her day enjoying a quiet Xmas day with Dad.
However, my Dad then tested positive on Boxing Day!!
He is still testing positive today, so he’s not happy.
On the up side, apart from feeling like he’s got a cold, he’s not been suffering.
He’s fully vaccinated and boosted so this has probably helped.

Anyway, because of our two hours contact with Dad on Xmas morning, we’ve all been doing daily LFT’s.
So far we are all negative, but considering how this Omicron variant seems to be spreading and considering none of us have tested positive since the beginning of all of this, I think our luck is running out.
We are all double vaccinated and boosted, so if we get it, we probably won’t be too unwell. We just have to be careful because Ian is immunocompromised because of the medication he has to take.
We continue to wear masks when we go shopping or are in crowded places and that’s all we can really do.
It will be interesting to see what happens in the next 7 – 14 days after families have been together over Xmas and people partied over New Year.

Anyway, back to today.
All my Xmas decs are now down and put away for another year.
I am on my 2nd glass of Prosecco and Limoncello.
I have a big leg of lamb defrosting for tomorrow when I plan to just put my feet up and chill.
On Monday, I will be celebrating the new year with my best friend who had to work over new year.
The aim will be to work our way through the leftover Xmas food and booze!

On January 8th, the resolutions will start. This year will be to lose weight and get a bit fitter. Like every other year since ……. forever!!
I make it a point NEVER to start a resolution on the 1st of January as it will be destined to fail.
No one is going to start a diet successfully on the 1st of January.
They are probably going to be hungover from New Years Eve and there is going to be leftover Xmas food kicking around.
Our house is no exception.
We have loads of chocolate and nibbles leftover. The booze is not a worry as it will be drunk throughout the year anyway, but the food is a real issue because I desperately want to start a diet on the 8th.
The last real diet I did was for my brother’s wedding in 2017 and I did quite well. Unfortunately, I let myself down after the wedding and have piled it all back on since.
Dieting is probably going to be a little harder this time around as I am now ‘officially’ in Menopause. I also have ongoing issues with my knee, although this can be helped by losing weight, so there’s another incentive!!

I’ve just ordered a Fitbit to help with the ‘new year, new me’.
My old work colleagues gave me an Amazon voucher when I left and I have been struggling to think what I would do with it and this evening I decided a Fitbit was required! It will be arriving on Tuesday and will give me a bit of time to get used to it before I start to use it in earnest on the 8th!

So! A couple of days to enjoy and relax before getting back to work and really getting stuck in to my job for real!

I hope you all have a fabulous bank holiday weekend and your new year starts well and continues to remain well.
Stay safe, play safe. Use your masks. Make sure you are vaccinated. Use your heads!!


What a week!
Started my new job on Monday and the realisation of how much I have to learn is sinking in.
However….. It’s been a good week.
The whole pace of life is different. So much more relaxed. I even got out of the office to meet two of my daughters in town for some lunch today.

I am currently shadowing the Community Eating Disorder team and learning the ins and outs of what they do.
My actual job, when it’s up and running, will be to support this team by seeing and supporting clients in their own home.
At the minute there is still some uncertainty on how it will operate. They are even still recruiting into it.
It’s just so new that we are coming in at ground level and hopefully building a good robust team that will give the ED service the extra support they so badly need.

I had a day in the Luton office earlier in the week and I will be working with one of the team’s dieticians at the Luton and Dunstable hospital on Monday.

So! Getting to know a lot of new faces is going to take some time but I have already found the office geek!
I shall be reporting back to her on Monday after seeing Spiderman: No Way Home tonight!


6 days ago, I aggravated an old knee injury.
I thought I had done some real damage and I could barely walk without crutches.
Getting out of the bedroom in the mornings was agony.

I managed to see a Dr who had a good look at the knee.
The ligaments all appeared in tact and the knee was stable.
As it was already a diagnosed injury, and Orthos have already said that until it stops me from walking they won’t do anything, it was decided not to jump on any new imaging.
The Dr increased my pain relief for a couple of weeks in the hope that the knee would settled back down.

I am so, so, SO pleased to say that after a couple of days on crutches, some deep muscle massaging and the new pain relief, I am now walking with no real issues.
I am still very conscious that the knee may ‘go out’ on me at any time, but for the most part, I am practically back to where I was before the incident last week.

I can even walk in the sandals I want to wear for the Xmas party tomorrow night….. but I don’t think I will be cutting a rug on the dance floor very much!!

Such a relief.
It couldn’t have happened at a worse time.
There’s so much going on with the rest of the family at the moment and I start a new job next week.

Right, time to do some cleaning today.


Is it something we’ve done or is fate trying to tell us something?
Let me explain.

Ian started a new job nearly nine weeks ago. Nothing major, just a move to a different team within his existing company. A good move with lots of potential to move forward in his career.
4 days later all his current problems started and he’s been signed off ever since!!

Marjorie has landed a new job that starts in January. January requires her to do lots of training and exams which she cannot miss if she is to continue with the job.
Then, after two years of waiting, she finally gets a call about the operation she’s been waiting for on her foot!!
She has a consultation next week. How much are we going to bet they want to schedule a surgery in January?

Back to today and feeling a bit cursed when it comes to new jobs.
I did not need this right now!!

Back in February 2016 I became acutely aware of a problem with my right knee when a Baker Cyst I didn’t even know I had, ruptured on my way across the carpark after work one evening.
At the time, I could barely put my foot to the floor and it was absolute agony.
It took a couple of months to fully recover and I was left with meniscal tears and residual cysts that the Orthopaedic surgeons said they couldn’t do anything with as an arthroscopy could potentially make things worse.

So! For almost the last 6 years, I have lived with a knee that kind of works, is uncomfortable at times, but is manageable. I have noticed that over the last 12 months, it has got a little worse, but calling the Dr was not an option due to Covid blah blah blah. I thought it would just have to wait.

Anyway, waiting is no longer an option.
As I was re-arranging things in my living room yesterday, something went pop in my knee.
I wasn’t even doing anything strenuous. I was sat in my office chair and as I twisted and bent down to pick something up I suddenly felt like I was being stabbed in the knee. When I tried to walk it was agony.
After moving around for a while the pain eased off to point where I could hobble but if I sat down for any length of time I had to go through all that pain to be mobile again.
I topped up on pain killers and went to be in the hope that it would ease off over night, but when I woke up this morning, the pain was actually worse and I literally had to hold onto walls and furniture to make it to the toilet.
I can only assume that one of those residual cysts has been growing over the last year and decided to rupture yesterday. I have to go through excruciating pain to mobilise each time I have to get up. I can’t bend my knee beyond 90 degrees and I can’t fully straighten it.

I’ve just made an appointment to have a chat with one of my GP’s. I have no idea what the next step will be.
As it’s a pre-existing condition, can they refer me direct to an Orthopaedic surgeon or do I have to go through the excruciatingly slow process of seeing muscular skeletal first before any decisions can be made?

It’s now a waiting game.
My next job is to dig out some old crutches so that I can actually get on with that little thing call life.
The bad news is, those crutches are buried in a cupboard behind a big sofa in the hallway with a whacking great Xmas tree in front of it!!

This couldn’t have happened at a worse time.
I am supposed to be taking Dharma to Coventry on Monday to see a close friend and do some Xmas shopping.
I’m supposed to be going to Milton Keynes on Wednesday with Dharma again, and hopefully Mum, to finalise the Xmas shopping.
I have my old works Xmas do on Thursday evening.
I may be going out for some drinks with the old work colleagues next Saturday.
I have a family Xmas dinner at the pub over the road Next Sunday.
Then I am supposed to be starting my new job on Monday the 13th!!

As a family we just seem to be a bit cursed at the moment when it comes to new jobs!!
Only time will tell how this one will go, but I think it’s safe to say that something needs to be done about the knee now.


So where do I begin?

I’ve been enjoying my annual leave before I start my new job on the 13th.
Yesterday was a bit of a pamper day.
I got my hair cut and I actually got my nails done for the first time EVER!

Anyway, I did a little bit of shopping with Marjorie and we met Dharma after Uni for some dinner.
Dharma needed to pop into the big Tesco on Cardington road for a few bits and pieces so we decided to do that on our way home.

We got to Tesco at around 17:30 and didn’t expect to be in there for more than 15 minutes but fate had other plans.
We were having a little nose around and Marjorie pointed out a Smart TV they had on sale.
It was a Sharp, so a good brand, and it was 70 inches! It was also at a price that was too good to miss so I messaged Ian.
We decided to go for it and I collared two lovely young men working in the electrical section to help me get it through customer services and out to the drop off point at the front of the shop.

A hurried call to my Dad to get him to bring his large car over to help get it home was the next step.
There was no way it was going to fit into my little Viva and probably wouldn’t have fit into Dharma’s Corsa, however, turns out it wouldn’t fit in my Dad’s Tiguan either!!
A few minutes of panic before I called a friend with access to a pretty large car.
He was an absolute hero and drove all the way from Rushden to help us out.
We left Tesco just after 19:00!

The TV was delivered home safe and sound.
Now we needed to unbox and put it all together and this is where the saga took another turn!!


I thought it would be a case of swapping the old TV out, which is sat on top of a couple of Billy book cases, for the new TV.
However, the feet on the new TV are too wide!!
Major panic and a bit of furniture moving and we now have two book cases in front of two book cases with the TV on top!


The whole setup is seriously triggering me!

My DVD’s and Bluray’s are a mess and the whole unit sticks out WAY too far.
It’s a mess.

So! What to do?
I’m waiting for my Dad to get in from golf in the hope that he will drive me over to Ikea in MK to pick up a TV Bench I’ve found.
If all goes to plan, it’s actually going to look quite stunning when it’s all in place and I can start to enjoy my movies cinema style!

Watch this space.

New Year resolution….
No more snap decision when it comes to buying expensive things!!