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Mum of three.
X graphic designer turned mum. When the need to go back out to work arrived, I became a Clinical Support Worker completely by accident. I was a support worker for 9 years and was actually awarded Clinical Support Worker of the Year 2011 at my trust.
I have just completed a 2 year University course as a Trainee Nursing Associate and now I am one of the countries first registered Nurse Associates. I am also a Paediatric based Nurse Associate which makes me quite rare. I have been married for 25 years.


Martin Luther King, 1966

“I think America must see that riots do not develop out of thin air. Certain conditions continue to exist in our society which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it that America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last few years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice, equality, and humanity. And so in a real sense our nation’s summers of riots are caused by our nation’s winters of delay. And as long as America postpones justice, we stand in the position of having these recurrences of violence and riots over and over again. Social justice and progress are the absolute guarantors of riot prevention.”


I think I may have mentioned in the past, exactly how I feel about Donald Trump.
Just a few weeks ago I posted…

“I don’t know why I do it to myself!!!
It started as a laugh.
I followed Donald Trump on Twitter quite a while ago.
The drivel that spouts out of that orange Twat’s mouth is, during normal times, absolutely hysterical, however, we are not in normal times and his drivel and self superiority are becoming increasing dangerous.”

Well, today he has outdone himself.
With the MURDER of unarmed George Floyd in Mineapolis on Monday, there has been a backlash of violent protests.
Murder is exactly what it was, and the officer involved has got a long history of violence and killing of POC in his past. How he is still a police officer is beyond belief.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do not, in ANY way condone the violence that has been happening as a consequence, but the tweet that was created by Donald Trump today was ASTOUNDING….. and not in a good way.

These THUGS are dishonoring the memory of George Floyd, and I won’t let that happen. Just spoke to Governor Tim Walz and told him that the Military is with him all the way. Any difficulty and we will assume control but, when the looting starts, the shooting starts. Thank you!”

Twitter have hidden this Tweet behind a warning and have made it very clear that if it had been anyone else, the Tweet would have been removed.

“This Tweet violated the Twitter Rules about glorifying violence. However, Twitter has determined that it may be in the public’s interest for the Tweet to remain accessible. Learn more

Twitter generally actions Tweets that violate our rules. However, we recognize that sometimes it may be in the public interest to allow people to view Tweets that would otherwise be taken down. We consider content to be in the public interest if it directly contributes to understanding or discussion of a matter of public concern. 

At present, we limit exceptions to one critical type of public-interest content—Tweets from elected and government officials—given the significant public interest in knowing and being able to discuss their actions and statements.”

Yes, you read that right, “When the looting starts, the shooting starts”!!
What. The. Actual. Fuck!!

I can’t believe this was actually written by the President of the United States.

So, I will now make this official on my Blog site.
Donald Trump is an absolute FUCKWIT! TWAT, PRICK, MORON, DICKHEAD, PILLOCK, CUNT, NUMBKNUT, TOSSER, WANKER and any other derogatory term to describe an absolute train wreck of a human being, although, calling him a human being is insulting to human beings!!

I wish I was more eloquent.


So, it’s been two years ago to the day that we got this happy Adam at the Cannes film festival for the BlacKkKlansman premiere.

Adorable Grin Version 2.0 Adam Driver attends the photo call for ...

Spike Lee managed to create a movie that was tastefully funny, still relevant and shocking. If you haven’t already seen it, what are you waiting for?! Think I may even watch it tonight!

Spike Lee, John David Washington, Topher Grace, Damaris Lewis ...

Anyway, this also got me thinking about what we have missed out on this week.
This should have been the Cannes Film Festival week and we should have been getting the premiere of Adam’s new film Annette. A musical of all things and one which is sung from start to finish. I have been waiting with baited breath to see this film. Like I’ve said before, as much as I like a good musical, I like a musical that is scripted and interspersed with songs. I don’t generally like musicals that are completely sung as a narrative. Adam is not a professional singer but he can hold a tune. It’s going to be really interesting and raw. I’m either going to love it or hate it, and I am so hoping that I love it!!

Adam has had 5 movies premiere at the last 4 festivals.
In 2016 it was Paterson. A quirky Jim Jarmusch movie.

Adam Driver - Adam Driver Photos - 'Paterson' - Red Carpet ...

That same year, I actually won tickets to see this film at the Picturehouse Central in London with Adam doing a Q+A afterwards. It was an amazing evening and that very Q+A is on the DVD release!

2017 saw The Meyerowitz Stories released. Adam did not attend this one.

He made up for it in 2018 with not one, but two movies. BlacKkKlansman and The Man Who Killed Don Quixote. Adam was there and attended the red carpets for both films.

ADAM REN - ultimate-adam-driver: Olga Kurylenko and Adam...
J.D. Washington leaves football behind with 'BlacKkKlansman' role ...

In 2019 he was there for another Jim Jarmusch film, The Dead Don’t Die.

Hollywood Stars Bring The Glamour To Cannes Film Festival Opening ...

Not the greatest zombie movie ever made, but another quirky Jim Jarmusch film.

So, this year we are left hanging. With the cancellation of the Cannes Film Festival because of the world shut down, we have no idea when Annette will actually be released.
I just hope it will be worth the wait.

Annette (2020) - Filmaffinity


After blogging about how terrible I felt yesterday, I’ve actually had a pretty good day today!

I still had a mid afternoon nap, but I actually ‘feel’ better than I have in a long time. It may just be a ‘good’ day, and only time will tell, but it has actually been a relief.

Anyway, I saw an article pop up today that reminded me of what I was missing the most in this lock down.

May The 18th 1927 was the day ‘Grauman’s Chinese Theater’ Opened In Hollywood.

The iconic building now houses a custom designed IMAX theatre that can seat 932 people and has one of the largest screens in North America.

Grauman's Chinese Theatre, by Carol Highsmith fixed & straightened.jpg

The theatre hosted the Academy Awards in 1944, 1945 and 1946 and there are nearly 200 celebrity handprints, footprints and autographs in the forecourt.

Since 2011, there has been a surge of concrete ceremonies. However, many of these have been paid for by movie studios for publicity reason. They are referred to as ‘mock ceremonies.’ Despite this increase, the ones placed in the forecourt are still chosen by special committee which selects celebrities based on their contributions to Hollywood cinema. Practice blocks, completed inside the theatre before the ceremony, are placed on the walls of the 6 theatre lobby, which is also used as an event space.

And that all reminded me of just how much I miss going to the cinema!!
Yeah, I have my movies at home, but nothing beats going to see a film on the big screen and maybe making a day of it and going out for dinner too.

With everything on hold, there have been movies I have wanted to see that have had release dates pushed back, or no new dates announced at all.
This week ‘should’ have been the Cannes film festival and Adam Driver’s new movie ‘Annette’ should have premiered!! Now we don’t know if it will release this year or early next year.

As for Adam, he still has about 8 weeks of filming to finish in Ireland on ‘The Last Duel’, the film he was in the middle of in France with Matt Damon.
They were just about to move production from France to Ireland when the world shut down. Adam returned home and we haven’t heard a squeak out of him since!

One film I have been keeping an eye on is ‘Dune’. We have been getting little snippets of news and photos in the last couple of weeks and it is still slated for a Dec 18th release. Fans are just hoping that a trailer will drop soon. I for one am really looking forward to seeing how it will look.
I loved the 1984 version with Kyle MacLachlan as Paul Atreides, but I don’t think it has stood the test of time very well.

Kyle MacLachlan in Dune (1984)

With current special effects and Timothee Chalamet as Paul Atreides, I can’t wait to see what they have done. It is a huge sweeping story that was kinda rushed through in 1984 but ‘Denis Villeneuve’, the director of the new one, has split the story into 2 films, which has given me hope that the studio have got a lot of confidence in the final outcome of this movie.

If nothing else, I get to see Timothee Chalamet and Oscar Isaac like this!

For now, I will make do with my home movies. I added to my collection today with the release of ‘1917’.
Better than nothing.


So, I’ve been on the HRT for almost two weeks now.
How do I feel?
In a nutshell….terrible!!

I can honestly say that the hot flushes and night sweats have just about stopped which means that my sleeping has been getting better.

BUT, and here’s the kicker…..

I have been feeling rough most of the time and I’m still so tired, all the frickin time!
I am literally crashing for an hour at lunch time, crashing for a couple of hours at tea time, I have virtually no energy to do anything.

It’s just as well I managed to get a couple of weeks of last minute annual leave from last Monday and now that I’m half way through it, I seriously need to look at what I can do to improve things before I have to go back to work a week on Monday.

According to an NHS website, too much alcohol and caffeine and not enough exercise are the top reasons for feeling tired.
So, from tomorrow, I am going to stop the alcohol intake for a while and I am going to start my walking again.

When I was losing weight for Italy 3 years ago, I was doing some serious walking as well as watching what I was eating and drinking and I felt great!
Getting out in the sun and fresh air has got to help me.
I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself and get my arse off the sofa and get some adrenaline pumping.

Hopefully after a few weeks I will start to feel some benefits.
If not, the NHS website also states that other reasons for feeling tired all the time are anaemia, underactive thyroid, anxiety and stress.
All of which, I will need to go and see my GP for, which is easier said than done at the moment.

Anything has got to be better than the way I feel at the moment!


I didn’t have a chance to post this yesterday for VE day as I was working.

This is a picture of my Grandad, Albert Leadbetter, with his mates in Egypt, Circa 1938/39.
He is the chap in the middle, at the back, with his arm slung around the chap in front.

A few years ago, when I was scanning and preserving photos on Flikr, My Dad gave me a tin of photos and post cards that belonged to his Dad, my Grandad.

The photos were all taken or collected during his time with Field Marshall Montgomery ‘Monty’, in Egypt circa 1938/39.
The post cards were all personal and not from my Nan!!
The photos were a combination of photos that he’d taken or that he’d ‘retrieved’ from possibly dead bodies.

A lot of the photos on Flikr have a description. If there was any writing on the back of the photo, I made sure it went on the description of the photo, so when you click on a photo, scroll down to see if the photo has a little story.

A few of the photos are quite graphic, so be warned.

The following is a link to the album on Flikr that shows the whole tin of photos. I’m not sure if linking to Flikr will work this way as I usually have to send an invite to join flikr to get access to my account, so if the link doesn’t work, let me know!!

For anyone with a Flikr account, just look for Mumofthreedevils.


So, today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Lockdown and working for the NHS aside, I’ve had a particularly tough week as my perimenopause decided that irregular periods and the occasional hot flush were not enough.

I’ve known I was heading into ‘the change’ for about the last year, but about 3 or 4 weeks ago, my anxiety increased and I started having panic attacks on my way into work.
Considering I work for the NHS, and with the current COVID situation, I simply put it down to my brain working overtime and the added stress, and I managed to work through it.

However, about 2 weeks ago, symptoms worsened and my hot flushes turned into full on night sweats and I was barely sleeping. If I had more than 2 hours of unbroken sleep, I was lucky.

I was getting more and more tired as time progressed, until last week, I was absolutely all over the place at work and could barely think. As I look after patients and handle medications, I did not feel confident in my ability to ‘safely’ look after anyone, so I took myself out of the equation.

I have been off work for the last week and talking to my GP.
After keeping a record of my blood pressure for a few days, they have started me on Hormone Replacement Therapy! (HRT)

Although I am still not sleeping right, I have been cat napping throughout the last week and have reached a point where I feel I can now cope better and I will be returning to work on Thursday.

I have literally just taken my first HRT tablet and I have to say that, I am both hopeful and terrified.

Hopeful in that my hot flushes and night sweats should ease off or even stop altogether and my sleep should improve.

But terrified after reading the information leaflet that came with them!!


I know they have to put absolutely every bit of information about ‘possible’ side effects into these leaflets, but talk about putting the fear of god into someone.

Anyway, reading about other people’s experience on the same medication, I know it will take a good 2 – 3 weeks to really start to notice any benefits, and I have literally JUST taken my first tablet.

So, today is a new start.
Persevere with the tablets.
Improve my diet.
Increase my exercise.

I have a target to aim for.
My best friend is getting married in June 2022. So I have two years to get my shit together and lose some serious weight.
I now, literally, have no excuse!


Over the last month I have been doing the 30 day song challenge.
I have been doing it on Facebook and I thought I’d do a roundup of all 30 songs here.
I honestly can’t believe how quickly the last 30 days has gone!!

DAY 1 – A song you like with a colour in the title.

I chose ‘Purple Haze’ by Jimmy Hendrix.
A song I have always liked that has recently been revived for me because of new and very talented friends.

DAY 2 – A song you like with a number in the title.

I found this one completely by accident when watching Domhnall Gleeson in his ‘Immaturity for Charity’ videos he made back in 2014.
The video stars Domhnall and his brother Brian and the song was sold for the charity.

DAY 3 – A song that reminds you of summertime

I chose ‘Fun, Fun, Fun by Pharrell Williams.
This is just one of those care free happy songs that is just perfect on a warm sunny day when you have nothing to do except enjoy it.

DAY 4 – A song that reminds you of someone you’d rather forget.

I chose – Hail to the Chief
OK, so I didn’t take this one too seriously!!
Considering the state of the world at the moment, the one person on the planet I would love to see disappear is Donald fucking Trump! and I live in a country run by Boris bloody Johnson!!
Idiot, dickhead, dangerous, clueless, moron, brain dead, orange, selfish, caveman, tosser, fool, laughing stock, incompetent. What more do I need to say.

DAY 5 – A song that needs to be played loud.

I chose ‘Mr Brightside’ by The killers
A song that never fails to get people singing at parties and has to be loud!

DAY 6 – A song that makes you want to dance.

I chose ‘Cut to the Feeling’ by Carly Rae Jepson.
After discovering Mark Kanemura dancing to this on Instagram, his enthusiasm for the song was infectious and now I just can’t resist it.

DAY 7 – A song to drive to.

I chose ‘Giant’ by Rag’n’Bone Man as I often find myself driving home from work to it.

DAY 8 – A song about drugs and alcohol.

I chose ‘High Enough’ by K-Flay
My daughter introduced me to this one and I was lucky enough to hear her sing it live when she supported Imagine Dragons, a concert I went to with her Dad. My Daughter still hasn’t forgiven me!!

DAY 9 – A song that makes you happy.

I chose ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ by One Direction.
My guilty pleasure and one that drives the kids nuts which makes me love it even more!!

DAY 10 – A song that makes you sad.

I chose ‘Visions of Gideon’ by Sufjan Stevens.
A song written for one of my favourite films, ‘Call me by Your name’ and used at the very end of the film where Elio is reminiscing and remembering Oliver. Song starts to play at 1:20

DAY 11 – A song you never get tired of.

I chose ‘Take Me to Church’ by Hozier
An amazing song and one that introduced me to Hozier. I have a very clear memory of waking up at about 2am after falling asleep on the sofa. There was a chat show re-run on and Hozier was the musical guest, singing this song at the end. I woke up to his stunning voice and performance and have loved him ever since!

DAY 12 – A song from your preteen years.

I chose ‘My Sharona’ by The Knack
I don’t know why. It’s just one of those songs that sticks in your head and I’ve always liked it.

DAY 13 – A song you like from the 70’s

I chose ‘Cars’ by Gary Numan
A song that isn’t played nearly enough and I can’t believe it’s from the 70’s!!!… but only just.

DAY 14 – A song you’d love to be played at your wedding.

I chose ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’ by The Platters.
This song was ACTUALLY played at my wedding.
A song that me and the hubby both liked from a film we saw together before we got married.

DAY 15 – A song you like that’s a cover by another artist.

I chose ‘Lay Me Down’ by Hozier
This song amazes me. Originally a really sad song by Sam Smith, BUT in the hands of Hozier, it has a completely different feel and becomes a quite joyful and happy song. One song, two takes, same words, same tune, two totally different meanings!

DAY 16 – A song that’s a classic favourite.

I chose ‘Ain’t That a Kick in the Head’ by Dean Martin.
Can’t get any more classic than that!

DAY 17 – A song you’d sing a duet with someone on Karaoke.

Ok, ‘IF’ I could sing, it would be ‘The Bones’ by Maren Morris Ft Hozier.
A very recent song and absolutely stunning.

DAY 18 – A song from the year you were born.

I chose ‘Bad Moon Rising’ by Creedance Clearwater Revival.
1969 was a good year.

DAY 19 – A song that makes you think about life.

I chose ‘Being Alive’ by Steven Sondhiem, sung by Adam Driver.
This was a recent discovery for me as it was belted out by Adam Driver in his Oscar nominated performance in Marriage Story. He doesn’t do a bad job either!! This really does make you think about life and very relevant for number 19!

DAY 20 – A song that has many meanings to you.

I chose ‘I Believe I Can Fly’ by R Kelly
A song that reminds me of being a mum and a song that used to send my eldest to sleep before we even hit the chorus!! It was a life saver.

DAY 21 – A song you like with a person’s name in the title.

I chose ‘Lydia’ by CC Smugglers.
Gonna miss these guys.

DAY 22 – A song that moves you forward.

I chose ‘Don’t You Forget About Me’ by Simple Minds.
What can I say, a song all about moving on and heading into the future.
Also, theme to one of my favourite films. The Breakfast Club.

DAY 23 – A song you think everybody should listen to.

I chose ‘Nina Cried Power’ by Hozier ft Mavis Staples.
What can I say, this is powerful stuff, wrapped up with a little Gospel.

DAY 24 – A song by a band you wish were still together.

I chose ‘Baker St 205’ by CC Smugglers.
There really was only one choice of band for this one, and Baker St 205 is one of my favourite songs. CC Smugglers disbanded in December 2019 after a string of amazingly bad luck.

DAY 25 – A song you like by an artist no longer living.

I chose ‘Ziggy Stardust’ by David Bowie.
I was lucky enough to see Bowie in concert. Sorely missed.

DAY 26 – A song that makes you want to fall in love.

I chose ‘Would That I’ by Hozier.
What can I say. This man knows how to write some seriously romantic lyrics.

DAY 27 – A song that breaks your heart.

I chose ‘The Show Must Go On’ by Queen
NEVER fails to make me cry. I had to walk out of the cinema when the end credits played when I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody and I still haven’t made it through the end credits, on Bluray.

DAY 28 – A song by an artist whose voice you love.

I chose ‘Movement’ by Hozier.
As if you haven’t already noticed, I do like a bit of Hozier and his voice is so mellow and relaxing.

DAY 29 – A song you remember from your childhood.

I chose ‘Shang-a-Lang’ by the Bay City Rollers.
The first band I really loved and my first album, given to me by my Auntie Kim!

DAY 30 – A song that reminds you of yourself.

I chose ‘I Want to Break Free’ by Queen.
With everything that’s going on at the moment and with what’s been happening personally over the last few weeks, this one seems very appropriate!

That’s it! Hope you enjoyed the choices.
It’s very difficult to choose just 30 songs from 50 years of life. There are loads of other songs I could have used, but on the whole, I think I’m pretty happy with my choices.


OK, I’m slowly getting back on track.
I’ve been doing a lot of cat napping over the last few days and I seem to be building up some stores of energy. I might even try and soak up some sun today to top it all off.

Where I go from here, all depends on what the Dr thinks of my weeks worth of blood pressure readings on Monday.
I don’t think they have been too bad, but then I’m not the professional.
I just want to get started on HRT and get on with my life.

Anyway, that’s not what this blog was meant to be about.

How is everyone coping with lockdown?

I see we still have idiots in the US who are demanding to get their country re-opened because ‘it’s my right to get a haircut!!’
They’re doing it while armed with guns and getting away with it!!
White men, dressed in camouflage, brandishing weapons in places of government.

Says it all really.
I can only wonder what kind of scenes we would be seeing on the news, had those same protesters been black!!
It doesn’t bare thinking about.

Apparently we have idiots in Ireland too, with a gathering due to take place this afternoon.

Anyway, back to reality.

Ian is now officially working from home again after being furloughed for the last three weeks.
He also received his letter officially telling him that he’s one of the ‘high risk categories’ and should now isolate himself as much as possible for the next 12 weeks.!!
Great!! Only 6 weeks late.
Just as well we already knew that anyway and he has been pretty much self isolating from day one.

The kids are all doing great.
Marjorie and Dharma are finishing off college and University projects.
Dharma has been told that her final project will probably be default graded and averaged against her previous results, which she is really happy about because she has got distinctions throughout!

Murron has pretty much moved into the garage!!
Not complaining. It means no arguments in the house and she can play her guitars, and sing to her hearts content, and facetime her friends with no worries.

Apart from my wobble this week, I’m not doing too bad either.
Although, I really need to think about doing a little more exercise.
I seem to have stagnated.
Hopefully the Dr will be helping me to feel a little more normal over the next few weeks and I can only help that by getting off my arse and also doing something about it.

What do I miss in Lockdown?

Apart from my Mum and Dad, who are literally just around the corner, I miss jumping into a car and nipping to the cinema occasionally.
I miss going out for a meal, followed by a cinema trip.

I have loads of time to watch movies at home, but it just isn’t the same.

With everything in the film world on hold, there is not really much in the way of news coming from Adam. I saw an amusing tweet this morning that was something like this….

The man has done exactly what I thought he would and gone to ground.
There hasn’t even been any confirmation that he made it back to the US safely from France when his film was put on hiatus back in March.

I’m assuming he did, as it would be plastered all over the news if he didn’t.
No, he is tucked away at home, looking after his wife, his son and his pupper, Moose!

With that said, there was a splash of potential news on Thursday, as Variety posted and article saying that Adam will star in an adaptation of ‘Yankee Comandante’. Although this has yet to appear on Adam’s IMDB page.

It will be based on a New Yorker article by David Grann, about two people who rose to the rank of Comandante during the Cuban Revolution.
One was Che Guevara and the other was William Alexander Morgan, a man from Ohio.

Adam is reportedly playing William Morgan.
And yes, after googling the man, he has chosen another film where his character dies!! This time by firing squad.

ADAM!! We need to see you in a happy ending, give us a break!!
Or even in more comedy. You gave us a taste with Logan Lucky and you are hysterical when you appear on SNL.

Recent movies are making me sad.
You went mad in Don Quixote.
You died in the Dead Don’t Die.
You came to terms with your lot in Marriage Story.
You died in Star Wars.
We know your character will come to a sticky end in The Last Duel.
And if Yankee Comandante is made, your character dies by firing squad.

This is not doing my lockdown mood any favours!!

Right, Midday already.
One thing I’ve noticed in lockdown is that you can waste so much time doing nothing!!


I have tried to stay quite upbeat in my posts recently, and to be fair, we’ve been dealing with the lockdown situation really well as a family.

However, personally, things are a little rough at the moment.
I have been in perimenopause for the last year. Something which can last for up to 5 years. Up until recently I had only really noticed the occasional hot flush and irregular cycle, both of which I could handle.

A couple of weeks ago my anxiety levels started to spike and I started to have panic attacks going into work.
I haven’t had a panic attack for 20 years!!
I put it down to the current situation and the fact that I’m a nurse and I worked through it.

However, things have gone from bad to worse.
My hot flushes are out of control, I’m having night sweats, I have regular palpitations, I’m putting on weight, my mood is low most of the time.
I am literally not sleeping and I am so tired I can barely function.

I have reached the point where I need to see a Doctor.
This is not as simple as it sounds in the current situation either. Adding to my stress.
I had a phone consultation on Monday and they wanted a BP and asked if I had a machine or could get hold of one.
I borrowed my Mums.
That machine showed I was hypertensive.
The Dr wants me to take a week of readings before deciding on a plan of action. Either the need to treat the blood pressure first or put me straight onto HRT.
I’ve been doing readings since Monday and today I’m having my BP machine checked by a practice nurse to make sure it’s giving me acurate readings.

That is where I’m at now.
Those readings will be given to the Dr on Monday and a decision made.
I just want to feel normal again.
I just need to sleep!!