General diary entries

SELF PRESERVATION MODE

I am very aware that I haven’t blogged any of my usual stuff for a while.
No film reviews or obsessions.
The fact is that there has been an awful lot going on over the last few months so my blogging has turned into more of a diary for a while. It’s quite therapeutic and it’s also a great way of keeping long distance family in on the loop of what’s been happening.

They say that some of the biggest stressors in life are the death of a spouse or loved one, moving house, finances/debt, and starting a new job.

Well in the last 8 months I have done all 4 and a bit more.
3 of them in the last 2 months alone!

I think I am currently in self preservation mode and trying to keep on top of everything and get my girls and myself sorted and settled into a new future before I have any kind of a break down, but fingers crossed I don’t.

Just over 8 months ago, I started a new job, and although a big stressor at the time, it has proved to be one of the best job moves I have ever made.
That same job is now one of the main reasons I am as ‘together’ as I am right now as it has been MORE than understanding about the last 2 months events and has meant that it has been at least one thing I have not had to worry about.

I suppose it all really started in June, when daughter number one, Murron and my grandson returned home after a relationship breakdown.
They are still sleeping on my dining room floor and I have had to write them an eviction notice to get things moving for them. That notice runs out on 16th Sept and I can see them going into emergency housing for a short while. It’s a horrible thing to have to do to your own kid but if we didn’t, she could be sleeping on my dining room floor indefinately as she is not a priority!! Makes me so mad.
At least me and Murron are in complete agreement that we couldn’t live together for good, so doing what is necessary has not been taken to heart.

July 5th to August 4th were a whirlwind with the passing of my husband Ian, and subsequent funeral.
This all had the knock on effect with finances.
The sudden loss of more than half our income.
How was I going to keep up with the rent?
How was I going to keep up with 2 loan payments that were ‘unfortunately’ in my name alone!!

Thankfully Ian had 2 over 50’s life policies that paid out very quickly and these helped deal with funeral costs and gave us a buffer for our current rental costs.
Ian also had his head screwed on when it came to his pension and work life insurance.
This has all but wiped out my financial concerns and is now helping us to a new future, and after long discussions with the 2 daughters who will be staying with me, we have decided that we would be better off financially if we owned our own property rather than rent.
We have been lucky enough to find the perfect property just around the corner from where we currently live.
Same distance from my Mum and Dad, same local amenities, so no change in anything other than the address.
Our offer has been accepted and now we face the agonizing wait for all the ‘legal’ stuff to go through and hope that nothing happens to make the sale fall through.

Luckily we do not have a chain and neither does the house we are buying.
The money from Ian has given us a sizeable deposit and I have a small mortgage in principle.
My concern now is ‘actually’ being accepted for that mortgage when they do hard search with the credit agencies as the 2 loans that I have just settled could take up to 6 weeks to clear!!
The bank are fully aware of this as they made adjustments when they did the soft search. I have provided all the necessary proof that the loans are paid and I now just await my full application video call on the 7th to find out for sure.

Once I have my mortgage, it’s then all in the hands of the solicitors.
Until I have signed a contract and paid the deposit I am trying not to get too excited.
Of course, once I have done that, there is a whole new set of things to worry about like ‘actually’ moving!! and having a big enough crossover period that I can clean and put right a few things in the house we are currently renting before I hand the keys back.

It’s never ending!!
I am kind of looking forward to a time, in hopefully the not too distant future, where I can sit down and process everything that has happened this year.
Nothing financially going wrong, the move done and dusted, Murron sorted and in her own place, back to work, time to just enjoy the new house and make it ours and sit and think of Ian occasionally.
Nothing actually going wrong for a change.

Nearly there.

Categories: General diary entries

1 reply »

  1. Hello Michelle, I just wanted to message you my sincere condolences following the passing of Ian. We used to game together. I’d been messaging him over the last couple of weeks and when I got no reply, I began to fear the worst. I am so incredibly sorry. The last time we played he was so happy about the arrival of your grandson. I really don’t know what else to say other than I’ll always remember the kind and fun-loving chap who used to make me laugh so much! You and your family are in my thoughts. Kindest regards, Adam

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