It’s been a week since I last posted.
That last post was fairly upbeat and hopeful and written very early in the morning before work.

Later that day, I got some news that quite literally turned my whole week upside down.
I found out that I had somehow failed my last assignment for Uni….. by just 4 points!

I was shocked and annoyed with myself, especially after I got some feedback and realised that I had made some really stupid mistakes and quite frankly, it would appear that I had become a little complacent and lazy on that last assignment.

Today I spent time working through the feedback and correcting stupid little mistakes but I am still doubting myself. What you need to understand is that a re-submission will not score higher than a D- regardless of how well it is re-worked, so I am not going to kill myself trying to write an ‘A’ or ‘B’ grade piece of work, but I do need to make sure it’s good enough to pass the second time.

The stupidity of it all is that with all my previous grades, even with a D- for my last piece, I will still be walking away with a distinction for my foundation degree.

However…..
As I sat here today, working on my re-write and stressing over it, I got more news.

It looks like the exam board will not be ratifying the grades until the 27th February and it’s not until after this date that they will issue a re-submission date.

Then I will have to wait for 20 working days from the re-submission date to find out my grade and looking at the calendar, it is highly unlikely that I will be graduating with the rest of my cohort on April 3rd.

Absolutely, totally gutted.

How do I feel right now?
Well, I’ve just ordered a take out and I’m about to pour a huge JD and coke.
I need to step away from it for the evening.

So, the struggle is not quite over.
I’m back to being a complete mess with my mind in a hundred directions and it’s showing at work as I forget to do the simplest things.

Seeing the rest of my Cohort celebrating and congratulating each other on social media has not helped in the slightest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy for them, but every post that pops up on my timeline is like a kick in the teeth right now.

I just want this all to end now.
I’ve had enough.
I want my life back!