Month: September 2016


I can’t believe that it will be October tomorrow.
Seriously…. where did September go?

On the up side…. only 77 days till Rogue One!
But that means only 85 days until Xmas!

October will be off to a difficult start.
Dharma is having surgery on her right wrist on Monday to try correct a tight tendon issue that is causing her pain when she holds anything.
She finds it difficult to hold a pen for very long and occasionally it spasms. She’s lost a phone because of that one.

Anyway, I’ve just had two weeks signed off by the GP because of my continuing knee issue. I had my MRI on Weds and I’m just waiting for the results now.
I’m going back to work this coming Weds but I will be doing short shifts and not long days for a while. Just have to see how it goes.

It’s Murron’s 19th birthday on the 8th Oct and she’s decided to drag me out on the town.
Looks like we’ll be starting the night at Esquires, her favourite haunt in town and then we will be ending the night at The Barley Mow. The local gay bar in town where Drag Queen comedian ‘Charlie Hides’ will be performing. Should be fun and an eye opener. Although I really have nothing to wear to go clubbing!! I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb.

I’m only back at work for two weeks before I have two weeks of annual leave during which I have my birthday. Getting depressingly closer to the dreaded 50!

Right, back to today.
Got a haircut at 12 and then I’ll be trying to add to an ongoing fan-fiction I’m writing.
Not sure how I feel it’s going at the moment. It’s tackling a bit of a difficult subject and I want to get it right so I may be working on it for a lot longer than previous fics.

Of course, a couple of episodes of Queer as Folk won’t go amiss!! If only to get a bit of sunshine!!

He’s an absolute cupcake!!


How did I miss this on it’s initial run?!!

I have just completed binge watching all 5 seasons of the US ‘Queer As Folk’ and it’s….. for want of a better word….


There really is no other word for it.
OK, maybe ‘HOT, sexy, funny, addictive’ can all be related to it as well.

I have fallen completely head over heals in love with Justin and Brian.

Justin is played by Randy Harrison, an openly gay actor who is just adoreable. His nickname on the show is sunshine because of his amazing smile!

Brian is played by Gale Harold who is not gay and who has been on my radar a couple of times over the years with things like Vanished in 2006 and Desperate Housewives in 2009. He’s popped into some of my favourite shows occasionally like Grey’s Anatomy and CSI NY and I may just have to go check him out now in Definace.

When these two were cast together it was TV gold.
The chemistry they had from day one is undeniable and is what helped make the show as successful as it was, along with tackling political issues of the time like gay marriage and gay rights laws and other issues like homophobia and gay bashing.

The season one finale is both exhillerating because of the amazing prom scene and then heartbreaking because of what follows it when Justin is nearly killed.
I’m so thankful I could skip straight into season 2 and not have to wait to find out what happened to Justin. I think If I’d had to wait for a new season to start I would have had a breakdown.

It was groundbreaking TV and I am so pleased and relieved to find that it still has a HUGE following, so my current fangirling still has lots of things to trawl through on Tumblr and Youtube etc.

The gang still regularly get together at reunions and conventions and there is occasionally a whisper of a possible re-boot.
Quite frankly I would love to see how the characters have developed since the end of the initial series.

Did Brian letting Justin go to pursue his career in NY end the relationship? (I DOUBT IT!!)
Are Michael and Ben still together or did Ben succumb to his illness? Likewise, their adopted son Hunter. Is he still alive and well?
Not to mention the adoreable Emmett. Is he still ‘fabulous’?
Did Ted have the relationship he craved?
Did Mel and Lindsay make it?
And the babies!!
Gus will now be the same age Justin was when he first met brian. How has he grown up?
Is he straight, gay, bi? Is he a party boy like his dad Brain?
Not to mention his little sister Jenny. She’d be around 11 or 12 now.

So many questions I would love to have answered but I suspect I never will.
Only time will tell.

Anyway, think I’ll go back and watch it some more.
Can’t get enough of the prom!! That dance is magical.

Just a shame it had to be followed with this!!


OK, so feeling in the mood for big changes.

First one has got to be finances!
Ian’s drop in wages has hit us a little harder than expected so we are going to have to be a little bit more thrifty over the next year and aim to pay off and cancel some of the credit cards. They’ve slowly been creeping up over the last few months and they are now money down the drain in payments. Money we literally may not have after Xmas!
Tackle it now while it’s still under control.

Speaking of Xmas, it’s going to be a lean affair this year.
Individual budgets are going to be smaller. Non existent when it comes to me and Ian.
As much as I hate to do it, it’s needs must at this point.

Sitting here resting my knee over the last week has given me lots of thinking time.
Too much thinking time.
I’m 47 in a month and I’ll be damned if I’m going to head into my 50’s overweight and unfit.
I want to be out having fun and re-capturing a youth I was too timid to go after the first time around.
So! Now that the knee is feeling a bit better, I plan to re-introduce the physio exercises and see how it goes. Then the diet that started so well and then stalled because of the knee needs to be kick started again.
I need to take it slow and concentrate on strengthening the knee. If nothing comes out of the MRI on 28th it will be my only course of action.

I have my Brother’s wedding in Tuscany to look forward to at the end of August and Murron wants to take me to Brighton Pride and I’m determined to look ‘fabulous’ for it.

It’s going to be a tough year ahead but it will be worth it in the long run.
Just need to get Ian on board with the weight and fitness part. I’m not standing around waiting for him to catch up to do things. If I want to go out and do something, I’m going to bloody well do it. I’m not missing my chance again.
I’m going to retire disgracefully.


OK, apart from the introduction of Horus Mozarabe into my life, this has not been a good week.

My knee has finally got the better of me and I’ve been signed off work for a couple of weeks to rest it.
So apart from keeping up with my physio exercises and the odd trip to Tesco, I’m on forced rest.
I’m having an MRI on the 28th and I’m really hoping that it will find an underlying cause as to why the knee is not getting any better otherwise I’m stuffed!!

Anyway, this will only mean one thing….. obsession overload!!

I apologise in advance for any gushing that may occur in the next few weeks.

I will be able to watch films to my hearts content.
I can finish binge watching Queer as Folk. I’m into season 3 already and absolutely loving it!! Brian is an ass and Justin is just adoreable!! They were made for each other. I seriously hope they end the series together.
I can read as much fan-fiction as I want and I can also get some writing of my own done.
I already have a story idea forming in my head that I want to start working on later.

It’s going to be a balancing act between getting enough exercise and getting enough rest but stopping the 12.5 hour shifts on my feet means I can try and balance things out a bit.
It will probably drive me crazy after the first week!!



OK, so life keeps on going.

Sleep, work, bills, appointments.
Most of the time it’s pretty monotonous and normal and for want of a better word… boring!!


I like to escape occasionally and that’s where movies step in followed by fandoms and obsessions.
For the most part, the hubby feels the same way.
We would never have met without Fandoms and obsessions.
We pretty much have the same taste in movies with few exceptions.

Every week in films, fandoms and fiction brings something new and this week I was given a particularly exciting thing to obsess about and it had an immediate knock on effect.

Recently I have become part of a fandom my husband does not share and cannot understand and I totally understand why.
It just makes my personal hobby a little lonely as, apart from my ‘online’ friends’, I have no-one to share this hobby with.

My husband has been reading fan-fiction for years and I used to laugh at him for it but then something happened last Xmas that changed my perspective.

Disney delivered a film fanboys had been dreaming of for years.
When Star Wars The Force Awakens hit our screens I was a little dubious because of the vain attempt at the prequels.
I was soon well and truly back into Star Wars fandom.
Where George Lucas misjudged what fans wanted…. Disney delivered…. and then some!!

Then around April/May I got fed up with the hubby telling me I really should try some fan-fiction. So I did a little digging.

I was blessed.

The first piece I had ever read in my entire life was called ‘Devour’ by ‘Solohux’ on a site called AO3.

It was Star Wars Force Awakens fan-fiction BUT with a little twist.
The wonderful thing about fan-fic is that existing places and characters and stories can be taken in totally different directions.
Questions can be asked like what if that event hadn’t happened? How would the story have diverted from what we know?
What if characters ended up in different relationships?
What if we dropped the characters we know into completely different universes?
What if?

Well, I found myself neck deep in what is affectionately known as ‘The Kylux Trash Compactor’.

Stories relating to the relationship between Kylo Ren and General Hux.
Now, given that General Hux only had about 3 or 4 minutes of screen time in the movie, the seemingly ‘seething’ hate and animosity he feels for Kylo Ren has been snatched by fandom and taken to the nth degree.

I cannot get enough.

Love/hate, hate/hate, slow burn to full on relationship, alternate universes, force sensitive Hux, Alpha/Omega, dom and sub – either way.

I have been completely anamoured by the Kylo/Hux relationship to the point where I actually started to write my own fan-fiction, encouraged by Solohux who is now one of the aforementioned ‘online’ friends on a site called Tumblr.

Then this week, something came across my dashboard on Tumblr that completely took my breath away.

This is absolutely stunning and I was completely mezmerised by it. I don’t think I have ever seen anything so sensual in my entire life.

Shortly after seeing this my mind started to wander and I had a thought.
I wanted Kylo belly dancing for Hux.
So I took a look on AO3 for any existing fiction and I found some!!
They were fun to read but they all had Kylo as a slave or working as a belly dancer and I had envisioned something a little different.

So I sat down one morning and wrote my own ficlet. I couldn’t stop!
2000 words later I had it and I absolutely love it!!

I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this but for any friends or family that may be interested in my writing, here is a link to my fic on AO3.
Please please please remember that this is based on a male/male relationship and if you are not open to that then please don’t read.
It’s safe, there’s no physical intimacy in this fic but the relationship is well established and physicality is heavily implied.

It’s called ‘The Gift’ Click HERE to follow the link.

If you read it, I would love to know what you think.
I have really enjoyed writing in the last few months and I’m seriously thinking about writing something original. Coming away from fandom and writing something of my own.
The only issue is coming up with an idea.
At least with fandom you have a baseline to start from!

Right, time to chillax and binge watch some ‘Queer as Folk’



Absolute silence.

Everyone is out to work or at college/school.
Even my Mum has said she won’t be round today.

All I can hear is the hum of my computer….. and it’s calling!!!

I do have to gut the kitchen at some point today but for now……
I’m enjoying the quiet and I’m going to read/edit a 4 chapter fic I’ve just written and then post it.

I think I’ve learnt a lot with this one.
I need to work on story development and fleshing out details.
I think I get from place to place too quickly and I think that stems from having no idea where the story is going to start with!
I’ll just have to see what kind of response it gets when I post it.

Anyway, I’m in the middles of 4 days off. I’ve been loving my shifts just lately.
I actually got to the cinema twice over the weekend.

We finally went to see ‘Pete’s Dragon’


I’ve been wanting to see it for a while as one of my celebrity obsessions is in it.
Karl Urban.


The highlight was seeing him sneezed on by a fluffy green dragon!
I enjoyed the film a lot more than I thought I would and it will definately be getting added to my Karl collection when it arrives on Bluray.

The second film was ‘Ben Hur’
I have to be honest from the start. It doesn’t hold a candle to William Wylers astounding Epic from 1959 starring Charlton Heston and I didn’t expect it to.
Hollywood seems to have lost the ability to make epics quite like that anymore without succumbing to masses of CGI and foregoing a script and story.

With that said I found myself really enjoying it.
It felt a little rushed because apart from a few minor scenarios from the 1959 version, they kept to the same story, tweaking it here and there. This meant cramming a 3.5 hour story into 2 hours!
The acting was OK but could have done with a better script in places.
I felt that Morgan Freeman was actually the disappointment. Unusually wooden and he felt out of place.
The sea battle was amazing. Love the addition of the poor sucker strapped to the front of a ship as it rams another one.

The scene I was waiting for was the chariot race! It did not disappoint.
The 1959 films chariot race is something to behold. No CGI, just man and beast and practical stunts.
Horses died making that film and it actually helped to get laws changed to protect animals being used for film and TV.
That said, that scene is cinematic history and will never be achieved again.

The new Ben Hur also has an amazing chariot race.
Beautiful horses, actors and stunt men actually racing around an arena. It was exhilarating. The only noticeable differences were with the use of CGI for crash scenes and horses escaping into the crowds in the arena.
They could do much more with the devastation of a crash than they could in 1959.


I’m a bit of a sucker for Roman/Gladiatorial dramas. Could be something to do with the costumes and muscles but when one of your favourite actors is fleshing them out it’s irresistable!!
Toby Kebbell played Messala. Mmm Mmm Mmmmm.

While I won’t rush to the cinema to see it again (I would actually kill to see the 1959 one in the cinema!!) I will be adding it to my collection when it arrives on Bluray.

So, fiction, kitchen, and?…….
We’ll have to see what I’m in the mood for later!!


So, today has been totally relaxing.

Apart from a quick trip to Tesco and little house cleaning I’ve literally spent my day writing!!
Didn’t think I would ever hear myself saying that.

I’m writing a fic that currently stands at 5,666 words
I think I may be getting hung up a little on sentimentality and I still don’t know how it’s going to end and I think it’s about time to switch off and give it a rest until the weekend.

I’m at work tomorrow.

My knee has been surprisingly good the last couple of days.
If I get through tomorrow with no issues I may start walking again at the weekend.

I’m now waiting for an MRI on the knee because something is definately not right and it does keep going out on me which is not helping me at work.
12.5 hour shifts on my feet is difficult at the best of times but when the knee is playing up it’s hell!
I have an appointment with Occupational Health on Tuesday morning and I’m hoping that maybe they can expedite the MRI.
In the meantime I’m continuing with my Physio exercises and power walking when I’m able.

Got to lose this weight for Italy next year.

So! what am I in the mood to watch. I literally haven’t watched any TV or movies for the last two days!
Don’t think it will make much difference either way as I will probably be asleep in less than an hour.

Ah the joys of mid-life!