COMPLETELY OFF GUARD

So, this week has seen me get thrown completely off guard.

I blame Tumblr.
In fact I blame Tumblr completely for feeding my obsessions and getting me hooked on new ones.

The fact that I’m 46 years old with 3 teenage daughters, a hard working hubby  and a respectable job doesn’t even seem to enter my head as I fall headlong into my movies, fandoms and obsessions.

It’s just so irresistible, sitting here with my morning cuppa and scanning the overnight Tumbling on my dashboard.
Every now and again an image will catch my attention. A photo, a piece of artwork, a nicely edited piece of film, a GIF.

However, something happened this week that caught me completely off guard.
After seeing various beautiful and intriguing pieces of artwork and mentions of pieces of fiction, I found myself on a fan-fiction site called ‘Archive Of Our Own’reading a piece of fiction called ‘Devour’ by Solohux.

It took my breath away.
I have always seen myself as a ‘traditionalist’ when it comes to relationships. You know… boy meets girl, lots of problems ensue whether it’s funny or serious, problems are solved and boy and girl have a happy ending…. blah blah blah…..

This story took me through a relationship I was completely not ready for and found myself completely blown away by the depth of feeling I had for the protagonists.
Boy meets boy. They go through complete hell together and come out at the end with a happy if uncertain future.
The fact that the protagonists are Kylo Ren and General Hux from my current favourite Star Wars fandom just ripped at my heartstrings even more!

After some messaging with the author of the piece, they recommended another piece of work that concentrated on the same coupling. A trilogy of pieces to be precise. ‘Children Wake Up’ by Hollycomb consisting of ‘Life Sentence, No Cellmate’, ‘Ceasefire’ and ‘Under the Ruins of a Walled City’.
I have to say I’ve been a little carried away.
I’ve already read the first two parts and had my heart completely ripped out!!
I have just started part three but have come to the realisation that this part is not yet finished. I’m crashing headlong into a story I don’t know when I’ll be able to finish.

The intensity with which I have been rooting for this relationship to have a happy ending has completely floored me.
The frustrating thing is that I have no-one to discuss it with.
I’m itching to have a face to face conversation with someone who is in the same boat.

My husband reads fan-fiction but he’s very ‘traditional’ when it comes to relationships (or so he says) and he certainly doesn’t want to talk about Kylo and Hux!!
My 19 year old is just not interested in any of it and the other two are just too young to even contemplate talking to them about it.

So, Tumblr is my melting pot.
I will continue to trawl through the photos, the artwork, the nicely edited pieces of film, the GIFs… I will continue to enjoy the fanfiction, even if I have to keep it bottled up to myself which is the most frustrating thing I think I’ve ever had to do!

And now, as much as I want to sit here all day and work my way through ‘Under the Ruins of the Walled City’, I actually have to do some work.
The damned 6 monthly house inspection is due and this weekend is the only chance I have at getting things presentable.
Damn!
I will just have to wait until this evening to snuggle up and find out what happens when Kylo meets his mother again and will Hux make it out of that prison and will he ever be able to look Kylo in the eyes again?
I WANT TO KNOW NOW!!!!

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