THEY JUST DON’T GET IT!!

I’m a little angry and also a little saddened by my husband and my kids at the moment.

Let me explain.

They all know I have little obsessions occasionally and one of their favourite pastimes is winding me up about them. Poking fun and trying to get me wound up a little bit.
It’s all done in good humour and that humour is always directed at me.
I take it and most of the time I give as good as I get.

l suppose the earliest ribbing I got was for an early obsession with Jonathan Frakes when Star Trek the Next Generation hit our screens.
My husband and club friends took great delight in winding me up with that one but it was all good natured and never turned nasty.

Over the last few years I’ve had various obsessions starting with Karl Urban, then onto Joel Kinnaman and Jake Gyllenhaal.
I started to notice a change with Joel Kinnaman.

He’s not your ‘usual’ square jawed all American looker and that’s probably one of the reasons I am so attracted to him as an actor.
He’s tall, he’s lanky, he is different and he has a unique acting style.

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However, to wind me up, the hubby and family started to poke fun at him and his looks and I didn’t think too much about it at the time.

However, things have got a little too personal with my current obsession.

If you read my blog regularly you will know that there is hardly a post goes by without me at least mentioning Adam Driver.

Adam Driver 11

This guy, besides being an amazing actor, is one of the sweetest most generous people on the planet.
But this man has struggled his entire life with one thing.

His looks.

This struggle has made him extremely self concious and he struggles with it on a daily basis.
In interviews he looks very uncomfortable and finds it incredibly hard to take compliments.
He is so totally aware of what people think about him that he has even referred to himself as a “sight gag” which is totally heart breaking.

He says “I have been told before that I have an unusual face. But my face is my face. I had a whole life before acting, over the years. Lots of things have been said about my face.”

The first time he sat down and watched his performance in HBO’s Girls he states…
“all he could see was his own mistakes – that he has never seen anything he has been in since. ‘I’m full of self-doubt and self-hatred and things I want to change and can’t change. It’s better for me to do it and then not think about it.”

The only reason we get to see him now is because his time in the Marines has given him the confidence to just get up and do it and not think about the consequences.

So this is why I have started taking issue with my family poking fun at me at Adam’s expence!
I don’t think they realise just how hurtful their comments are now becoming.
The fact that my family are actually poking fun at someone because of how they look is extremely disappointing and upsetting to me.
I thought I’d taught them better than that.
The fact that my husband is also doing it and backing the kids up just breaks my heart.

The painful thing is, they just don’t get why I’m now getting quite upset by it all.
I want it to stop.
I know they will read this at some point so hopefully, when they realise I’ve felt so strongly about it that I had to put it into a blog, it might just get through their thick skulls that making fun of someone because of their looks, anyone and not just Adam, is not fun and in this case I’m actually beginning to get quite upset by it.

7 Responses

  1. This is a great post. I too am a hardcore Adam Driver fan and not only because I feel that he is physically one of the most gorgeous humans I have ever layed eyes on, he is also one of the most interesting, hard working, dedicated, genuine, kind and talented people in the Universe as far as I’m concerned. I know I am not alone and there are PLENTY of us who feel this way. So it doesn’t matter what other people think really. It’s mean to jusge someone by their looks and to be honest, it’s quite clear that he is not “conventionally handsome” and this has been covered plenty of times.

    So, I guess long story short, try not to get too upset about other people’s nasty comments cause their opinions really don’t matter. There is a huge community of wonderful people who feel the same way we do about Adam and Adam is very aware of his looks but I dont think he really cares about what people think about his face. His military experience helped with that because when youre stripped down of everything, looks don’t mean a thing. It’s about who you are and what you do. And who he is and what he does is beautiful on it’s own.

    • Thank you for that. I know deep down I should just ignore it but when it’s my own family using it for their own amusement it really hurts! It’s silly, I know. I don’t even know the man but their comments just became too much over the weekend.

      • I totally understand. Cause, technically, it no longer is so much about defending Adam as much as it is about the sad feeling of being disrespected by people you care about. They may not realize how much it is really affecting you. You have an admiration for a celebrity and it’s not just a “crush.” The admiration that you have is for a really great human with a lot of deep and interesting layers, on TOP of finding him handsome. So although you don’t know him in person, you actually know him PERSONALLY cause you’ve dug deep into who he is under the exterior. So, you have a passion for him and when people that are supposed to care about you disregard any passion you may have, no matter WHAT it is, it’s hurtful and inconsiderate. I would be pissed too. So you can either just let it roll off of your back, or you can save the anger and turn it into a retaliation tool to turn on THEM when THEY reveal THEIR own passion about something or someone.

        But, I suggest that you just try and be like Adam and develop thick skin like he claims to have had to do.

      • You absolutely get it!

  2. So true Michelle, very immature, takes me back to Woodside days, I had to start wearing glasses, they had just realised I was nearly blind without them, the comments I got from some people, if it hadn’t been for my true friends I probably would have stopped wearing them! xx

  3. Omg I love your blog I just love Joel Kinnaman aswell. Im swedish so if there is anything short you want me to translate I’m here 🙂

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