Film Reviews


I took a few precious hours out of my day today to go and see ‘Noah’

OMG, what a waste of time.
It’s the biggest and most tedious pile of drivel I’ve seen in a long time.
If I hadn’t used my unlimited card I would have got up half way through and asked for my money back.

I can’t understand how they’ve screwed it up so badly!
They’ve taken a classic story (because that’s what it is and nothing more)
They got their hands on some first class actors.
Then they’ve gone and ballsed it all up with an atrocious script and a storyline that didn’t resemble the Noah’s Ark story in any way shape or form.
Except for the water…… lots of water.

Forgive me for asking but where the hell did the giant fallen rock angels come into it?
I just didn’t get it.

Final words…… DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY!!!

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1 reply »

  1. It’s a case of Noah meets Hollywood action movie tropes!

    The rock creatures were required because a Hollywood action flick must have an epic battle scene–and the story of Noah in the Bible doesn’t have one. It’s the same reason Tubal-cain was pressed into service as the villain for the final stand-off with Noah as hero, even though Tubal-cain is not part of the Noah story in the Bible.

    There’s also some stuff from the Jewish midrash Bible commentaries thrown in. Aronofsky and Handel are secular Jews, so they shouldn’t be expected to produce a Christian movie.

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