DRASTIC DECISION

I have been in a life spring clean for the last few months, and one of the last things to be attacked is my blog site!!
I did toy with the idea of giving it up completely, but I was talked out of it, and to be honest, I do enjoy blogging occasionally.

However, I don’t use it anywhere near as much as I used to, and certainly not to require me to purchase the business plan that I have been doing for the last few years to the tune of $300 a year.
So I am not renewing my business plan.

What does that mean for the site?

As far as I can tell, from August 13th when the plan expires, I will lose any fancy plug-ins I may have used and the site will revert back to basics.
So some, if not all of my pages, may look a bit different and some of the features may not work as intended.
I may have to go in and fix a few things.
I may not.

I’ve never been overly ambitious with my site, so I’m hoping it won’t be affected too badly.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS!!

The main clean up has been the decision to cull blogs and images.
You will not be surprised that I made the decision to find the first mention of Adam Driver on my blogs and delete everything prior to that.
So my blog now starts from Dec 2015 with an aptly titled ‘OH DEAR‘ blog and all things Adam remain firmly in place!

A NIGGLY CONCERN

Till director Chinonye Chukwu calls out misogyny and racism after Oscars snub……

Oh, Boo Hoo!

In the last few years, when it comes to awards for movies and music and the like, ALL of these have been called out for misogyny and racism, and for good reason.

However, I have been getting more and more concerned by the effect this is having on awards ceremonies.
How acturately are they reflecting the work out there?
How many people are being squeezed into the nominations simply because they are a woman or a person of colour and they will improve the ‘ratios’.
How many of those nominations actually squeezed OUT someone who genuinely deserved the nomination more?
Likewise, for any woman or person of colour, do they ever questions their awards?
Do they ever think they were ‘just’ squeezed in to improve numbers.
Does this take some of the magic out of winning?

Here we have an example of someone who is not only a woman, but a woman of colour, who has decided that because she was snubbed for an Oscar, she is going to use the snub to call them out for misogyny and racism!!
At no point has she asked herself that ‘maybe’ she was just outclassed in the voting and as good as her film is, it didn’t quite make the cut.
I believe there is also a much higher ratio of men in the industry, so there are bound to be more male nominees. This has been getting better, so in the coming years, there shouldn’t be an issue with the balance between men and women.

Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of women and people of colour out there who really do deserve nominations and wins, but I think that all the recent ‘calling out’ has started to blur the lines between who really deserves a nomination or win and those who are just there to make sure the ratio is met.

I will probably get called out just for writing this post because someone takes it completely out of context.
I hope not.

AND HOW WAS YOUR WEEK?

I am so tired! I can’t wait to get back to work!!

Yes, I know that sounds odd, but after the week I’ve just had, working 7 days a week would be preferable!

As you know from my last post, my eldest daughter, who had ‘just’ finished settling into her temporary accomodation that she thought she would be in for around a year, was actually offered a permanent residence. She was just waiting to hear back from the council with details and was under the impression she had around 30 days to sort things out.

I was getting on with my own unpacking.
The old house has been cleaned and I just have a few small holes to fill.
The garden has a few things to clear out and the garage has a few odds and ends to finish clearing out, but I have until 31st January for that, so I wasn’t in any kind of panic.

On Tuesday this week, my wardrobes turned up and I planned to spend the afternoon sorting through my clothes and the last of my bedroom boxes so that I could actually sleep in a ‘Bedroom’ and not a store room for the first time in a month.

However…..

Just after midday I received a phone call from Murron who was in tears and an absolute panic.
She had just been informed that she was being taken to see her new flat at 13:30 and she would be given keys.
She was then told that she would have until the end of the day on Thurs (so less than 48 hours) to vacate her temporary accomodation.

WTAF!!!

She is a single Mum with a 16 month old toddler and she is being asked to move the contents of a 2 bedroom home with no warning, and if she didn’t have any family and friends willing to step up, she’d be up shit creek without a paddle.
There was talk that ‘maybe’ they could get a man with a van to help her, but they never called back.
The only saving grace is that her new flat is right over the road from her temporary accomodation, so things could just be walked over to the new flat.

Anyway, the first step was to go and see the flat and measure up for carpets because three rooms were just bare concrete and tile which wasn’t safe for JJ. It also required a cooker and fridge freezer.
The flat is a good size. She actually has more space and storage than she had in the temporary accomodation.
It’s had a fresh ‘slap’ of paint, and I mean slap! But this is now her place, so she can actually decorate and tidy things up.
The heating is ancient and shit, so she is having to run oil fired radiators, but appart from that, it has a lot of potential.

So, after seeing the flat, we went to get carpets.
I have to say a HUGE thank you to Mounters and Turners on Barkers Lane for stepping up, doing us a great deal (after name dropping my brother who is mates with Paul Mounter!!) and actually fitting the carpets in all three rooms that very same day! They made the next few days so much more manageable.

We then went and sorted out a fridge freezer to be delivered the next day and a cooker that will be delivered in a few weeks because it needs professionally fitting.

£1900 later, we made a start on ferrying a few bags and boxes over before calling it a night.

So, Weds and Thurs this week was all hands on deck for moving.
I had to cancel a training day that was scheduled for Thurs, but I had no option.
The help from a Man with a Van never materialised, even after several phone calls, one of which stated, ‘we could fit you in next week!!’
Slowly, bit by bit, the furniture, boxes and bags were ferried over with the aid of a barrow trolley that I bought at B+Q.
So, after my Dad, in his 70’s and me with a dodgy knee, some wonderful friends who gave up as much time as they could, and lots of arguing and flared tempers, we finally had everything moved over at 19:00 last night.

JJ’s room was ready for him to run riot in, Murron had a mattress to sleep on and the flat looked like a storage unit, but she was in!
As guilty as I felt, we literally left her like that and called it a night.

So today, I actually get to concentrate on my own house again, but I’m so stiff and sore from the last few days that I really can’t be bothered!!
Might do a few hours of chores and then watch a movie or two with a bottle of plonk!

So yes, work on Monday is looking like a holiday compared to the last week!!

FRESH START, NEW WORRIES

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks so far.
We finally completed the house purchase and collected the keys on the 4th.
Me an my girls started ferrying boxes of stuff over the 4th, 5th and 6th
My brother came over on the 5th to board my loft space so I can use it from the start.
He then disappeared to the Maldives for 2 weeks… how inconsiderate!
We also had an electrician come in and do a couple of small jobs before we moved in.
The moving company moved all the furniture over on the 7th.

We had an Ikea delivery over the weekend for wardrobes for the girls.
Thankfully, they are both old enough to sort their own rooms out and they had friends come over and help to put things together. They helped me out a bit around the house too.

Virgin hooked us back up on the 9th.
Our new range cooker was fitted on the 10th.

While all this was happening, I was slowly working my way through the boxes and trying to find a place for everything.
We are pretty much there.
The only thing holding us back now is my bedroom as I don’t have my wardrobes yet.
They are due for delivery on 17th and once they are in, I can finally finish things off.

The old house has a few bits and pieces to still come over, but most of that is Xmas decorations that will be going up in the loft.
I’ve made a start on cleaning, and by cleaning, I mean sweeping and hoovering ready for an end of tennency clean on Monday.

I had hoped to avoid this as it’s going to cost me £400
We lived in the house for 10 years so the carpets have seen a lot of wear. I don’t know how clean they are going to get.
The kitchen is also old, around 40 years according to the owner. It has definitely seen better days.
The owner actually came to the house with an agent on Weds to get the place valued and to ‘weigh up’ his options.
He could quite clearly see that he needs to do a lot of work to the house if he wants to keep renting.
He could also see that if he sells, whoever comes in is going to rip everything out and start again, so I asked him if I really needed to do this clean. Obviously, I will still go ahead with my basic clean, but I felt that doing an end of tennecy clean on a property that is likely to get stripped out is a bit pointless and a waste of money. He said he’d let me know.

Yesterday, I found out he still wants the end of tennency clean to go ahead. WTF!
So yes, I will go ahead with the clean, but I will not be breaking my back with any painting.
I get the feeling he’s decided to sell, so he wants it looking as good as he can get it, to maximise his return.

When I think about it, he’s had over £100,000 out of us over the last 10 years. That makes me feel sick just thinking about it.
In that time, for around 8 of those years, we didn’t have a working dishwasher. It was on our inventory and it was reported on every inspection, but it was never replaced.
The house had a washing machine and tumble dryer when we moved in and when they were at the end of their life, we replaced them out of our own pocket when we could have asked the owner to replace them and I’ve left them behind!!
So if he dares to come at me for a few small holes and blue tac marks and wear on the carpets, I’m going to hit the roof!

Anyway, it’s nearly there.

So, just as we’re about settled, life decided to throw a few more curve balls at us.
On Thursday this week, I had some re-directed mail from HMRC (never a good thing to get)
Turns out, because Ian had taken some money out of his personal pension in tax year 21-22, it’s taken them 6 months to decide to check if he had paid enough tax before he died. WTAF!
So, I have been wading through self assessment paperwork and making phone calls to get information I no longer had because I don’t have Ian’s personal paperwork anymore!
Naturally this has been playing on my mind and probably will do until I hear back from them.
If Ian owes money, I have no idea where it’s coming from.

On the same day that I received that little wammy, I get a call from Murron.
She has been given a permanent residence.
Again, WTAF!
She has literally just moved into a fabulous little temporary accomodation and got herself settled only to be told that she has to move again. Probably in the next 30 days.
It’s a 7th floor flat, still in town.
I was initially a bit dubious/worried as these flats have a bit of a reputation but I have been assured that it’s the better block of flats to be in as it is full of elderly and single parents with kids. It also has a caretaker and due to the fact that there are quite a few people with mobility issues in the building, the lifts are a priority should they break down.
I’ve seen some photos and once she gets some carpet down, it will be a lovely little flat.
The bathroom looks fresh and new too. She also gets a balcony.
Murron seems OK about it and is actually quite happy that this move means she will be able to decorate!
It’s just a pain in the arse that it’s happened so soon. We had expected her to be in the temp accomodation for at least a year.

Anyway, that’s my morning catchup over.
Time to get on with organising this place.

2022 AND INTO 2023

So how do I sum up 2022?

SHIT to be quite frank.
I would happily go back to 2020 at this point.

The year started off well.
Murron appeared to be happy and baby JJ was flourishing.

Dharma was just getting on with work and Uni.

Marji was getting on with work but had FINALLY got the go ahead for surgery on her foot in June.
We also got to see her officially graduate from Uni because she didn’t get a graduation during lockdown.

Ian was still off work due to his psoriatic arthritis and the pain he was in.
He was awaiting various operations to help get him back on track.

My job was still fresh and going well.

Nothing really unexpected or out of the ordinary.
We were getting a little frustrated at the length of waiting Ian was having to do for all of his appointments and procedures, but other than that, things were fine.

As a family we carried on with life as normal.
Cinema trips, theatre trips, the occasional meal out, trips to London, an Imagine Dragons concert.

Normal.

The turning point was June 22nd when Murron rocked up on our doorstep with little JJ.
Her relationship had broken down completely and she was home with us until she could get council housing.
All I can say about that one is that the system is completely fucked! It’s taken us nearly 6 months just to get her into ‘temporary’ housing. Thankfully she’s fallen on her feet and got into a brand new 2 bed flat and is settling in well, but it’s only temporary, while she continues to bid to get a forever home. This could take over a year!

That was just the start and I could have lived with that, but on July 5th, our whole lives changed forever when my husband, and father to all three of my girls, unexpectedly passed away.
The day had been like any other, it was sunny and warm, the kids had some friends over and were sitting in the garden, chatting and drinking.
Ian was complaining about feeling a bit unwell and had taken himself to his room to relax for a while, which again was nothing out of the ordinary. With his medical conditions he did this regularly.
I was working until 4 and after I signed off for the day, I went into the garden for a drink and a chat.
Then there was lots of screaming from Dharma who had found her Dad unresponsive and the shit literally hit the fan.

The last 5 months have been a bit of a blur.
July and August were spent organising funeral arrangements and spending half my life on the phone to insurance companies, Ian’s pension companies, resetting all the utility bills and anything else that was in Ian’s name.
There were days when I spent ‘literally’ then entire day on the phone. The queue waits were horrific. For a grieving person to be sat in a queue for an hour before talking to anyone is ridiculous. To then be told you need to talk to a different department and go through the same waiting process again is soul destroying.

Anyway, I got through it all….. just about.
I still get the odd thing through the door for him that I’d forgotten about, like Specsavers appointments, but these are minor and I can deal with them. I’m sure I’ll get a few more over the next year. The important stuff is dealt with.

While all this was going on, we also had to look for a new house. Without Ian’s wages coming in, we couldn’t afford to stay where we are currently. Ian was a bit savvy with his pension and insurance and we have been able to buy a property, albeit with a very small manageable mortgage over the next 12 years.
We have been lucky enough to find an amazing house just a couple of streets from where we currently are and after a nail biting couple of months we have finally exchanged contracts and will be completing on January 4th.

We have just had a wonderful, but bitter sweet Xmas.
Murron and JJ came home for a few nights, we had a big family get together on 23rd, went to see Ian at the cemetry on 24th, Mum and Dad came over and spent Xmas day with us, we went to my brothers for boxing day, today was a chillout day after getting Murron and JJ back home and then having a visit from some good friends.

I had just 3 days of work between Xmas and new year, and now I have 3 weeks off to sort out the house move.
It’s going to be absolute chaos for a while.
We should be completing on 4th January and a moving firm will be moving the bulky bits of furniture and heavy boxes on Saturday 7th. This gives me and the girls a few days to do a bit of prep work on the new house before we move in.
My brother is coming over to ‘hopefully’ fully board the loft for us. It already has a retractable step ladder and lighting and from the quick look i’ve had, it’s a good open space big enough to stand up in, so being able to use it from the minute we walk in is going to be really handy.

Why 3 weeks?
There’s a lot of fixing and decorating and cleaning to be done in the house we are handing back at the end of January.
It’s actually quite a relief to have the crossover period. It means that there’s plenty of time to sort things out and I’m not in a blind panic to get it all done.

So in one way we are dragging the last dregs of 2022 into January, but by the end of January, we should be all done and looking ahead to a very different year.
We are all determined to make it a good one.
I am not going to be dragging my feet and moping, that’s the last thing Ian would want me to do.
I’m sure I’ll have my moments, it’s only natural, but for the most part, I am going to carry on enjoying my new life with my girls and little JJ.

Happy New Year XXX

SUCCESS

What a day.

We had JJ last night while Murron sorted her flat out (had a mate over for drinks too)
JJ was an angel. Fell asleep at 18:00 last night and woke up at 08:00 this morning with not even a whimper overnight.

This morning was a bit hit and miss as I realised the microwave we had ordered for Murron didn’t actually show up yesterday, but the order was marked as delivered. So had to sort that out. Turns out it was left with a neighbour but they didn’t leave a card to tell us.

I also woke up with what I thought was something in my eye.
I panicked as I thought I hadn’t taken a contact out properly last night and spent an hour trying to remove it.
I ended up at the walk in centre, which was heaving, and they tell me to call the emergency eye service and give me a number.
The urgent eyecare service tell me to contact my contacts provider.
Specsavers give me an appointment at 13:50 today.
Dad takes me into town where I discover I haven’t got a contact stuck, but I have triggered an infection.
So, Chloramphenicol ointment for the next week and a referral to Moorfields to double check things.

While all this was going on we were bagging up the rest of Murron’s stuff here at the house for one last van load to the flat.
Then finally, we drop the little man off with his Mum.
His room was the first to be sorted and it has all his toys in one place and he was so excited when we put him in there that he didn’t know what to do first.
Murron has a gate on the door so she can just get on with sorting the rest of the flat out while he plays.

Now it’s time to breath and start cleaning my own place.
In the meantime, my eye is really begining to bother me now. I’m gonna look lovely in the morning.

UPDATE

OK, here’s an update on what’s been happening.

With the delay in tenants moving out of our forever home, the decision was made to postpone moving until after Xmas. The Solicitor advised making sure the tenants were out and we were still happy with the property after the tenants had moved out before going ahead with exchange and completion. So we resigned ourselves to the fact that we would be spending another year where we are. There was no way I could think about moving in the week before Xmas. It was a bit upsetting, especially for the girls who really just want out of here now.

So I went into the beginning of a week of annual leave on 26th November and promised myself I’d get Xmas sorted and try and feel at least a little bit festive.
However, I was feeling quite run down and had been fighting off a cold and a cough and on the 24th and 25th I could feel my knee starting to annoy me more than usual.
By the Saturday I could barely walk, I couldn’t bend my knee so getting into and out of my car was interesting, my entire calf muscle felt crampy and my thigh was going to the same way. Great!

I had quite a few plans over the week and one of them was a trip to London with my Dad to see my cousin’s little girl in Mary Poppins again. If my knee didn’t improve, there was no way I could manage this.
So I dug out my deep muscle massager and worked on my calve and thigh over the weekend and I rested.

It seemed to work and on Monday I put my knee to the test with some Xmas shopping in Milton Keynes with all three girls and JJ. I was very aware of my knee but it held out!
So Tuesday was a trip to the nail shop to get my nails done again. I haven’t done this since losing Ian and thought it was about time I started to look after myself again.
Wednesday was a quiet day with the girls and we finally laid Ian’s ashes to rest with his Mum in the Summer garden at the crematorium.

Thursday I did go to London with my Dad to see Mary Poppins.
It was the first time for my Dad and the second time for me. My Mum isn’t up to going into London any more and my Dad really wanted to see it, so he got me a ticket for my birthday.
I think I actually enjoyed it MORE the second time around and Sophie is just amazing!
We had some food at the Three Greyhounds, over the road from the theatre before we went in and the food was lovely!
We stopped in again after the show for a drink and the place was absolutely heaving!
Instead of heading straight back home, we took a wander around Covent Garden to check out the Xmas lights.
I took my Dad into the Whiskey Exchange to show him the price of some of the whiskey’s. I think the most expensive one we saw was £60,000! It’s an amazing place and if you like your whiskey I highly recommend it. Don’t worry, they have something for every budget!

The rest of the time was spent decorating trees for me and my Mum and getting goodies and bits and pieces in for the Xmas period. Then it was back to work that had got a bit busy in my week away!

On Wednesday this week, Murron was FINALLY offered temporary housing and she picked the keys up on Thursday morning. Until then all we knew about the place is that it was a 2 bed flat in the middle of town.
So thankfully she wouldn’t be far away, but we still didn’t know what state the flat would be in.
We held our breath.
Turns out it couldn’t have been more perfect. It’s a brand new build and a lovely size, has a washing machine and fridge freezer but is otherwise unfurnished and more importantlyand she is over the moon.
So! this weekend has been spent moving her in. I got a van and we emptied the storage unit which has been draining funds since June.
She has everything she needs and could even fit the piano in.
Chances are she’ll be there for a good year or more while she keeps bidding for her forever home but I am happy that it’s not a damp riddled hell hole. In fact, it’s a shame she can’t stay there!

Today we’ll be spending the day getting the last of her stuff out of my house and then I can get my house back to the way it was pre-JJ.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the little guy and he makes me laugh every day, but I want to be a part time Nanny. I want him to come for visits and then go home!

I went to see our new house again yesterday now that it is empty.
I had a discussion with the Estate Agent about a completion date and I have instructed the Solicitor to exchanged before Xmas with completion hopefully on 4th or 5th January.

Work have remained amazing and cancelled the annual leave I asked for before Xmas when I thought I would be moving and I can rearrange it when I have an actual completion date.
We’re having a Xmas meal out as a team on Wednesday and I’m looking forward to it.

So, time to relax a bit for Xmas but ‘hopefully’ just a few weeks of chaos afterwards and then the disaster of the last year will all be over.
WATCH THIS SPACE.

BREAKING SILENCE

For anyone who has read back through my blog for the last few months, you will know that things have been more than a little stressful lately.
We have been in limbo waiting for the final puzzle pieces to fall into place and today, various bits of information have been made available that are good in some ways and bad in others and I wanted to get everything down in writing, so that in 12 months time, I can look back at what’s been happening and know that the wait and the stress was all worth it.

First of all, my eldest daughter Murron has been sleeping on my dining room floor with my now 14th month old grandson since June.
She is eligible for housing, but available housing is few and far between and finding her forever home would take quite a while, possibly a year of more.

After my husband passed away in July I was forced to think about moving because I could no longer afford the rent on my own. Thankfully, his insurance and private pension have allowed me to buy a property with a very small mortgage. I would be moving into this property with my other 2 adult daughters, Marjorie and Dharma.
We found the perfect house and got our offer accepted and the ball rolling with the purchase.
The only snag was that the house had tenants, but it was being sold with vacant possession.

In August I issued Murron with an eviction notice.
I know what some people will say about that, but both me and Murron are in complete agreement in that we could never live together again. We would end up killing each other! So the eviction notice explained the whole situation and that Murron needed emergency housing ASAP while she was bidding on her forever home.
However, as I didn’t have a moving date, I was pressured into keeping Murron under my roof for as long as possible.
Her case worker told us that once I have a date for moving, to contact her and they would get the ball rolling on temporary housing.

We were told that the tenants were given their notice and should be out of the house by 17th November, so we bided our time and waited…… and waited and waited.
The 17th November, came and went with no sign of movement from the tenants.
So after an extremely stressful weekend last weekend, I fired off various e-mails to my estate agents, their letting agents and my solicitor, to find out what was happening and where we stood.

Today, we finally found out that the tenants are in fact leaving, but it has been delayed due to their new property requiring some repair work before they move in. They ‘should’ be moved out by 9th Dec and my estate agents have requested that the weekend of 10th Dec should be used to do the post tenant check and that keys should be made available for completion on 12th Dec.
So we have a tentative date but nothing firm.

With this information we decided to contact Murron’s housing caseworker as per the agreement made in August, only to find that she left the service in October and hasn’t been replaced!
Fantastic!!
So, we have put the whole situation down in writing and are trying to get someone to pick it up and get the ball rolling on the emergency housing Murron needs ASAP before we lose what little space we have and she is sleeping in a storage shed.

So the last few months have been a bit of a powder keg of stress and my mental health has been taking a real beating.
Today was the last straw and I had to do something to get it all back under control. So I informed work of the whole situation and requested some annual leave from what will ‘hopefully’ be our completion date on the 12th until after Xmas.
Work have been fabulous, as they have been since this all kicked off in July, and I couldn’t be more thankful to them.
That has at least, brought the boil down to bit more of a manageable level.

I have a week of annual leave next week with a few things planned, but most notably, we are burying my husband’s ashes.
The rest of the time is going to be spent packing up whatever I can in anticipation of a move, possibly two if we count Murron, and putting up other people’s Xmas decorations.
I will then be back at work for a week before more annual leave and hopefully the moving house will finally be happening.

Right now I am only just hanging in there.
If something else goes wrong now I am seriously going to be lose my sanity.

So that’s where I’m at.
Even though I’ve tried in my last few blog to carry on as if nothing is happening, it’s not working.
I’ve lost interest in most things because I can’t stop thinking about the dozen balls I’m trying to keep up in the air at the moment.
I haven’t even been in the mood to stalk Adam!! and that’s saying something.